Author Topic: Poetry/prose/creative writing.  (Read 1638 times)

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Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« on: October 30, 2018, 10:20:19 AM »
In a Languorous daze
I began to languidly gaze
Upon her divine pulchritude.



Offline judih

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Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2018, 11:41:31 PM »
the clouds
slow journey

Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2018, 09:18:20 AM »
Great stuff.

Thank you for sharing. I truly enjoyed your poem, and I fully encourage yourself and others to continue to share any poetry, prose, creative writing or other linguistic works of art.

As I rule I generally never explain my poetry, writing, or artwork. I feel that when others are able to find their own meaning in art, when that art can have a deep personal connection and meaning to the individual, one that transcends its source and creator, that it almost makes no difference what I felt when I was creating it.

However, since the poem from my initial post was an experiment, and because I wrote it while creating this thread, I figured a little elaboration and explanation couldn't hurt.

In the poem from my initial post, which I haven't titled yet, I feel I was able to describe my emotions and mood vividly, you get the idea of someone who is tired, burned out, and lethargic, almost listless and apathetic, someone who isn't expecting anything out of the ordinary, when, he turns his gaze onto one of the most breathtaking women that he has even seen, and in that moment the mood of the poem shifts from slow and dull to one of excitement accompanied by angelic beauty and awe...

I've always been amazed how such complex emotions can often be expressed in so few words.

Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2018, 09:45:37 AM »
Immobilized by her presence,
my corouage evanescent,
as I contemplate an introduction.

She sits back unimpressed and silent,
and Im going mad because I can't,
summon the confidence to utter a single word.


The above was some other experimental poetry that I started this morning, but ultimately I hit a block just after beginning to write, it became more about finding rhymeschemes, rhythms, and looking for the proper phonetic combinations, and less about expressing my emotions, feelings and thoughts, so I stopped.

I would rather have an imperfect poem that perfectly conveys my emotions and thoughts than have a flawless poem that has no deep personal meaning or feeling.

Often times, it's difficult for me to process my emotions, and often times by creating a work of art or writing it allows me to work through and process what I'm feeling in a productive way.

Poetry is still somewhat new for me. My usual style would be to write, and not necessarily in a conventional sense, there's a lot of "breaking the fourth wall", brining my fictional characters into the real world to interact...

...There's also a good deal of tearing my writing directly from reality, but it becomes overly combined with various amounts of philosophy, spirituality, opinion and imagination, to the point where it's almost a type of fiction.

Any way, I think I have written enough about my writing for the entire thread, from here on out I will just be posting my poetry , stories, prose, or linguistic art without elaboration.

I highly encourage others to share! Please feel free to post whatever poetry, writing, or linguistic art you are comfortable sharing.

Offline judih

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Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2018, 11:50:28 PM »
thanks for sharing your work and your process.

Writing is a lifetime workshop. Writing and writing some more. Eventually the synapses understand I'm serious, the habit becomes ingrained and it's another day, another round at writing.

looking forward to reading your work

Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2018, 11:39:41 AM »
Again, thank you for responding, your input is very much appreciated.

I started a few more works today, but nothing that I'm willing to share yet.

Recently I have been struggling emotionally with a romantic interest of mine, those two poems were about her. I have been completely enamored with her since the first time I saw her, yet, unfortunately I have not been able to find the confidence to introduce myself.

I have really been trying to suppress my attraction for her, but it's somewhat difficult when I see her almost on a daily basis, and when I see her she is always sitting within a few feet of me. You have no idea how frustrating it is to have the most gorgeous girl you have ever seen be just feet away from you, and still having it feel as if she was light-year's away.

... while this is supposed to be a thread focused on artistic writing, its incredibly helpful for me to write out my feelings as I am doing now, so I'm sure occasionally you will find a post like this, or other times it might be in a narrative form or written like a short story. I wouldn't blame anybody for ignoring these posts, they really are more for me to process my emotions...

This girl truly is special, and it's not just that she is indescribably gorgeous, but she also has a beauty and warmth to her that goes far beyond her external pulchritude, you can tell that she has a compassionate and loving heart and soul, she has an inner beauty and warmth that's far from common, and no matter how much I try I can't relinquish my feelings of love and attraction for her.

Its rare to ever encounter someone so amazingly superlative with such inimitable beauty, class, and charm.

It really is disheartening knowing that she will likely always be out of my reach.

 All I really want is a chance to make her happy, and if she would be happy without me than I can fully respect and accept that, but if there's any chance that I could bring some happiness and love into her life I just hope that she would be willing to give it to me. I really would do anything for her.

Ok, I'm sorry for the nonsense post about my girl problems, I actually have some other poetry and creative writing that I plan on posting within the next few days, and I promise that its far better than me writing about a girl ill never have.

Offline judih

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Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2018, 12:57:00 AM »
suggestion: write her a message. Write the words you'd like to say to her. Write it and imagine saying it to her.
step by step.

Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2018, 12:23:00 PM »
...that's actually a really good idea. Believe it or not it's a notion which I had not yet considered.

However, I can't just come out spouting a bunch of hyperbolic romantic sentiments, I mean, it can't be a good idea to just tell someone "I fell in love with you the first time I saw you", can it?

...I want her to know that I am attracted to her, and that I think she is the most astonishingly gorgeous girl that I have ever seen and that she has a beautiful heart and soul, and that I would do absolutely anything for her, and that if she gave me a chance I would do  anything and everything I could to love her, and support her, to care for her, to protect her, and to keep her happy. ...but I can't just outright say these things, can I?

Would it be strange to hand her a note that said "I really like you, but I am very shy, don't be afraid to say hello", or something to that effect? Like as I am leaving I would hand her the note and hopefully the next day she would talk to me...

Or what if I brought one of my female friends with me to help me start a conversation?

I don't know...

I have never had this problem before. Seriously, normally I can interact with the most beautiful girls with total ease. I'm still not sure how to deal with it. furthers my feelings that this girl is special though.

...Somehow I think this girl knows that I like her. There are even times where she will sit right next to me and will appear to be waiting for me to say something to her, even expressing mild frustration at my inability to just get over myself and talk to her.

I'm a really shy person, and I know that if she would just talk to me first that I would do just fine, but it's been a few years of seeing her almost everyday, and she has made it pretty clear that I am going to have to be the one to initiate the initial conversation, I mean, she seems like she gets frustrated that I just sit there without saying anything.

I get the feeling that she is fully aware of me, and that she has been waiting for me to do something, however, I still can't figure her out, I can't tell how she feels about me. Judging by body language and vibes I would say there is some type of tension there that would disappear once we start talking, and sometimes I even feel like she is attracted to me. ...but I'm an idiot when it comes to guessing how girls feel about me. figure if she didn't like me at all that she wouldn't have any issues talking to me, but who knows, girls never make it easy to pinpoint how they feel about you.

Back on track, I have some really good poems and writing that I am putting the finishing touches on that I will post here as soon as I can.

Below is an excerpt from a letter that I wrote to a friend this morning, it involves my views on others seeing me as a "holy man", its far from being artistic, but its the only writing that I have that is complete and ready to share at this exact moment...

I guess writing about love, and romantic interests can be considered creative writing, I definitely see the girl that I am attracted to as a muse, and since I can never find enough nice things to say about her I have to get creative with my linguistics from time to time. Writing about her definitely helps me process my feelings. Writing in general helps me process my feelings, even when its nonsense posts like this one...

Any way, below is an excerpt from a letter to a friend where I was discussing how some view me as a "holy man", and how I would always dismiss these assertions until I realized what a true holy person actually is. When Mike Randall was talking about John Griggs as a holy man it all started to make sense.

a good holy person is going to have some flaws, and they might not be entirely easy to deal with, and they are going to have some imperfections, but at the core of their being, in the deepest reaches of their hearts and souls, there is a loving warmth and light that truly is holy. They also have a unique way of viewing and processing that world that makes then truly invaluable as holy beings. The downside is there is a good deal of being misunderstood, alienated, and targeted that comes with it, you will also feel things very deeply, your empathy, your compassion, transcends you as an individual, and has a dramatic effect on the way you relate to the world and others.

In Japanese culture there is a concept known as "wabi-sabi", which to me has always had a definition similar to "perfectly flawed", In traditional Japanese aesthetics, wabi-sabi is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete" -Wikipedia . For example, I bought a glass cannabis pipe, and the glass was blown was several imperfections, though over time it was those imperfections that made the pipe unique, and that ultimately made me love it even more. ...I guess that is a bad example, but I see holy people as possessing this concept of "wabi-sabi"

...over Halloween at a party there was one girl who was deep into a psychedelic trip and having an incredibly hard time, she was crying and obviously in a pretty scary place. I walked over to her and reached out my hand, and as soon as she took my hand her demeanor turned on a dime, she became calm, happy, and ecstatic. Talking to her the next morning she told me that she had never been in such a terrible place, but then when she saw me her nightmare slowly began to recede, and she said when she grabbed my hand that she was overcome with an intense wave of calming love and warmth, she said she felt that "everything was ok" just from taking my hand. She was nearly in tears when telling me this story, and concluded by wrapping her arms around me exclaiming "thank you, thank you so much"

...all and all, if you can take anything from what has been said here it should be that if you care for someone, if you love someone, or if you are attracted to someone, that you should find a say to let go of what's holding you back and should tell that person! Worst case scenario you suffer a rejection, and trust me, if I had a chance to give this girl love and happiness, and let fear of rejection stop me, I would never forgive myself.


Offline judih

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Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2018, 12:21:31 AM »
you know yourself. you know your imperfections, your inner goodness. Be gentle with yourself, treat yourself kindly - just like you treated that person on Hallowe'en night.
Reach out your warm heart to yourself.
 a note to her could read: "i don't know why i'm so shy around you, but i'd love to be able to speak to you. Please accept this as an invitation to help me out."

Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #9 on: November 03, 2018, 10:46:16 AM »
Great response and advice.

I was honestly thinking that the whole note thing might be a little weird, I mean, I don't want to creep her out or anything, but damn, I wish I could get over myself and just say hello to her.

I think I'm afraid because I know she is too good for me. I come from a pretty wild background and have done things and been through things that most people would never believe. Plus, most people look at me and assume that I am a "hippie", and I really don't think that hippie guys would appeal to this girl, even though technically I'm not a hippie, I just love the dead.

I actually have a good deal of respect and admiration for this girl, she is up early in the morning ready to work, rain, shine, or snow, every single day and you can tell by the orange vest that she is doing real work.

Plus, she has a good head on her shoulders, I have overheard her talking with others a good deal, and she is smart, emotionally stable, and seems to be the exact opposite of the ditzy girls that can't tell the difference between "sexy" and "slutty" and are lacking in gray matter between the ears. This girl seems smart, responsible, and obviously has self-respect., not only is she beautiful, but I also have a good deal of respect and admiration for her.

...which again, leads to my issue of thinking that someone like her would never have any interest in someone like me.

...even if I could have her as a friend I would be happy.

I'm thinking that maybe having one of my female friends with me might help, I mean, she could initiate a conversation with her and then bring me into it, thus avoiding the issue of me having to just walk up, tap her on the shoulder so she looks up from her phone, and then attempting to sputter out an introduction.

I mean, it's not like we are total strangers, she has seen me most days of the week for quite sometime now, and she has overheard me talking with people, though one day I was coming off of MDMA and LSD and the bus driver kept roping me into conversation, I was totally brain-fried and nervous as hell because I knew she could hear me, and I'm pretty sure I made an ass of myself. ...and I have also heard her talking to others, so while we don't know each other and have never spoken to one another, we know each other better than just a random person off the street.

Honestly, I'm getting the feeling that I am going to be doomed when it comes to finding love. I'm not attracted to "party girls", or girls that use hard drugs, and I'm not attracted to girls who are emotionally unstable or too wild.

...I just want a nice girl with a good heart and a good head on her shoulders who isn't a hard drug user and who has high intelligence, high self-esteem and self-respect, who is responsible, compassionate, understanding, and who I can be myself around. That really doesn't seem like so much to ask to me.

I've looked for other girls, but I honestly just want a chance with this girl. If she rejects me or if she gives me a chance and it doesn't work out I would be fully happy moving on and looking elsewhere for love, but I at least want to try with this girl before I start looking for another.

I appreciate your responses, I'm sure that my complaining about my girl problems isn't very entertaining, and I'm sure it's not very creative, but I suppose it still counts as writing. Your responses have actually been pretty helpful.

Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #10 on: November 04, 2018, 05:44:00 AM »
With a mind wide open, and eyes sealed shut,
Blindly I see,
The errors and roads,
Inside it grows,
So closely out of reach.

You struggle and fight against rising tides,
Like you're drowning in a sea,
Of a world corrupt, with a questioning trust,
You swim defiantly.

Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #11 on: November 04, 2018, 07:48:27 AM »
incomplete poem number one:
You can be Free of sin and still be crucified,
You can be thrown into prison for experiencing such lucid highs,
you can be full of love staring into a dragons eyes,
you can be with ones you trust and still be victimized,
Or you can be with God above viewing eternity with an angels eyes.


  untitled poem number two
Come take a drink from my cup,
taste the decoction I brewed up,
Theres no wickedness in my witches brew,
and there's a seat here by the fire which has been saved just for you.

Its Golden copulations, divine manifestations of vivid sublime hallucinations, coupled with intense sensuous physical sensations.
Its life, death, and all that lays in between,
Its freeing your consciousness from the constraints of the physical machine.

So, come sit by the fire, come and have a drink with me, because tonight the Gods conspire to give you eyes which can truly see.
So come and sit by the fire and drink my witches brew, come sit by the fire, come and learn the truth.


I wrote these two poems off the top of my head, and specifically for this thread, I can't say that I was necessarily inspired, and I surly won't try to claim that the scraps of language above can even compare to my most mediocre works, but I was having some fun, just letting go and writing, not worrying about iambic pentameter, rhythm, rhyme structure, and so on. This was purely for fun, and Cleary imperfect.

I kind of like them though, they display "wabi-sabi"

Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #12 on: November 04, 2018, 11:14:06 AM »
This next piece is an excerpt from "Sailing to Byzantium" by
W. B. Yeats, it's the last two of the four stanzas that compose the work. These two stanzas have particular significance and meaning to me, and it only seemed fitting to share them.

Sailing to Byzantium; W. B. Yeats; excerpt of the last two stanzas of the poem
O sages standing in God’s holy fire
As in the gold mosaic of a wall,
Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre,
And be the singing-masters of my soul.
Consume my heart away; sick with desire
And fastened to a dying animal
It knows not what it is; and gather me
Into the artifice of eternity.

Once out of nature I shall never take
My bodily form from any natural thing,
But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling
To keep a drowsy Emperor awake;
Or set upon a golden bough to sing
To lords and ladies of Byzantium
Of what is past, or passing, or to come.

Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #13 on: November 04, 2018, 11:26:47 AM »
A little rhyme that has always stuck with me.

the demons are of many kinds: "Some are made of ions, some of mind; the ones of ketamine, you'll find, stutter often and are blind." -terence McKenna

Offline judih

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Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #14 on: November 04, 2018, 01:57:19 PM »
lots of great stuff.
your untitled-s are lovely.
mcKenna - succinct and fine
Yeats- divine