Spirit Plants - Discussion of sacred plants and other entheogens

People => The Library => Topic started by: Intrepid_traveler on October 30, 2018, 10:20:19 AM

Title: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on October 30, 2018, 10:20:19 AM
In a Languorous daze
I began to languidly gaze
Upon her divine pulchritude.




 





 




Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on October 30, 2018, 11:41:31 PM
languor
the clouds
slow journey
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on October 31, 2018, 09:18:20 AM
Great stuff.

Thank you for sharing. I truly enjoyed your poem, and I fully encourage yourself and others to continue to share any poetry, prose, creative writing or other linguistic works of art.

As I rule I generally never explain my poetry, writing, or artwork. I feel that when others are able to find their own meaning in art, when that art can have a deep personal connection and meaning to the individual, one that transcends its source and creator, that it almost makes no difference what I felt when I was creating it.

However, since the poem from my initial post was an experiment, and because I wrote it while creating this thread, I figured a little elaboration and explanation couldn't hurt.

In the poem from my initial post, which I haven't titled yet, I feel I was able to describe my emotions and mood vividly, you get the idea of someone who is tired, burned out, and lethargic, almost listless and apathetic, someone who isn't expecting anything out of the ordinary, when, he turns his gaze onto one of the most breathtaking women that he has even seen, and in that moment the mood of the poem shifts from slow and dull to one of excitement accompanied by angelic beauty and awe...

I've always been amazed how such complex emotions can often be expressed in so few words.

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on October 31, 2018, 09:45:37 AM
Immobilized by her presence,
my corouage evanescent,
as I contemplate an introduction.

She sits back unimpressed and silent,
and Im going mad because I can't,
summon the confidence to utter a single word.


...

The above was some other experimental poetry that I started this morning, but ultimately I hit a block just after beginning to write, it became more about finding rhymeschemes, rhythms, and looking for the proper phonetic combinations, and less about expressing my emotions, feelings and thoughts, so I stopped.

I would rather have an imperfect poem that perfectly conveys my emotions and thoughts than have a flawless poem that has no deep personal meaning or feeling.

Often times, it's difficult for me to process my emotions, and often times by creating a work of art or writing it allows me to work through and process what I'm feeling in a productive way.

Poetry is still somewhat new for me. My usual style would be to write, and not necessarily in a conventional sense, there's a lot of "breaking the fourth wall", brining my fictional characters into the real world to interact...

...There's also a good deal of tearing my writing directly from reality, but it becomes overly combined with various amounts of philosophy, spirituality, opinion and imagination, to the point where it's almost a type of fiction.

Any way, I think I have written enough about my writing for the entire thread, from here on out I will just be posting my poetry , stories, prose, or linguistic art without elaboration.

I highly encourage others to share! Please feel free to post whatever poetry, writing, or linguistic art you are comfortable sharing.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on October 31, 2018, 11:50:28 PM
thanks for sharing your work and your process.


Writing is a lifetime workshop. Writing and writing some more. Eventually the synapses understand I'm serious, the habit becomes ingrained and it's another day, another round at writing.


looking forward to reading your work

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 01, 2018, 11:39:41 AM
Again, thank you for responding, your input is very much appreciated.

I started a few more works today, but nothing that I'm willing to share yet.

Recently I have been struggling emotionally with a romantic interest of mine, those two poems were about her. I have been completely enamored with her since the first time I saw her, yet, unfortunately I have not been able to find the confidence to introduce myself.

I have really been trying to suppress my attraction for her, but it's somewhat difficult when I see her almost on a daily basis, and when I see her she is always sitting within a few feet of me. You have no idea how frustrating it is to have the most gorgeous girl you have ever seen be just feet away from you, and still having it feel as if she was light-year's away.

... while this is supposed to be a thread focused on artistic writing, its incredibly helpful for me to write out my feelings as I am doing now, so I'm sure occasionally you will find a post like this, or other times it might be in a narrative form or written like a short story. I wouldn't blame anybody for ignoring these posts, they really are more for me to process my emotions...

This girl truly is special, and it's not just that she is indescribably gorgeous, but she also has a beauty and warmth to her that goes far beyond her external pulchritude, you can tell that she has a compassionate and loving heart and soul, she has an inner beauty and warmth that's far from common, and no matter how much I try I can't relinquish my feelings of love and attraction for her.

Its rare to ever encounter someone so amazingly superlative with such inimitable beauty, class, and charm.

It really is disheartening knowing that she will likely always be out of my reach.

 All I really want is a chance to make her happy, and if she would be happy without me than I can fully respect and accept that, but if there's any chance that I could bring some happiness and love into her life I just hope that she would be willing to give it to me. I really would do anything for her.

Ok, I'm sorry for the nonsense post about my girl problems, I actually have some other poetry and creative writing that I plan on posting within the next few days, and I promise that its far better than me writing about a girl ill never have.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on November 02, 2018, 12:57:00 AM
suggestion: write her a message. Write the words you'd like to say to her. Write it and imagine saying it to her.
step by step.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 02, 2018, 12:23:00 PM
...that's actually a really good idea. Believe it or not it's a notion which I had not yet considered.

However, I can't just come out spouting a bunch of hyperbolic romantic sentiments, I mean, it can't be a good idea to just tell someone "I fell in love with you the first time I saw you", can it?

...I want her to know that I am attracted to her, and that I think she is the most astonishingly gorgeous girl that I have ever seen and that she has a beautiful heart and soul, and that I would do absolutely anything for her, and that if she gave me a chance I would do  anything and everything I could to love her, and support her, to care for her, to protect her, and to keep her happy. ...but I can't just outright say these things, can I?

Would it be strange to hand her a note that said "I really like you, but I am very shy, don't be afraid to say hello", or something to that effect? Like as I am leaving I would hand her the note and hopefully the next day she would talk to me...

Or what if I brought one of my female friends with me to help me start a conversation?

I don't know...

I have never had this problem before. Seriously, normally I can interact with the most beautiful girls with total ease. I'm still not sure how to deal with it. ...it furthers my feelings that this girl is special though.

...Somehow I think this girl knows that I like her. There are even times where she will sit right next to me and will appear to be waiting for me to say something to her, even expressing mild frustration at my inability to just get over myself and talk to her.

I'm a really shy person, and I know that if she would just talk to me first that I would do just fine, but it's been a few years of seeing her almost everyday, and she has made it pretty clear that I am going to have to be the one to initiate the initial conversation, I mean, she seems like she gets frustrated that I just sit there without saying anything.

I get the feeling that she is fully aware of me, and that she has been waiting for me to do something, however, I still can't figure her out, I can't tell how she feels about me. Judging by body language and vibes I would say there is some type of tension there that would disappear once we start talking, and sometimes I even feel like she is attracted to me. ...but I'm an idiot when it comes to guessing how girls feel about me.

...you figure if she didn't like me at all that she wouldn't have any issues talking to me, but who knows, girls never make it easy to pinpoint how they feel about you.

Back on track, I have some really good poems and writing that I am putting the finishing touches on that I will post here as soon as I can.

Below is an excerpt from a letter that I wrote to a friend this morning, it involves my views on others seeing me as a "holy man", its far from being artistic, but its the only writing that I have that is complete and ready to share at this exact moment...

I guess writing about love, and romantic interests can be considered creative writing, I definitely see the girl that I am attracted to as a muse, and since I can never find enough nice things to say about her I have to get creative with my linguistics from time to time. Writing about her definitely helps me process my feelings. Writing in general helps me process my feelings, even when its nonsense posts like this one...

Any way, below is an excerpt from a letter to a friend where I was discussing how some view me as a "holy man", and how I would always dismiss these assertions until I realized what a true holy person actually is. When Mike Randall was talking about John Griggs as a holy man it all started to make sense.

a good holy person is going to have some flaws, and they might not be entirely easy to deal with, and they are going to have some imperfections, but at the core of their being, in the deepest reaches of their hearts and souls, there is a loving warmth and light that truly is holy. They also have a unique way of viewing and processing that world that makes then truly invaluable as holy beings. The downside is there is a good deal of being misunderstood, alienated, and targeted that comes with it, you will also feel things very deeply, your empathy, your compassion, transcends you as an individual, and has a dramatic effect on the way you relate to the world and others.

In Japanese culture there is a concept known as "wabi-sabi", which to me has always had a definition similar to "perfectly flawed", In traditional Japanese aesthetics, wabi-sabi is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete" -Wikipedia . For example, I bought a glass cannabis pipe, and the glass was blown was several imperfections, though over time it was those imperfections that made the pipe unique, and that ultimately made me love it even more. ...I guess that is a bad example, but I see holy people as possessing this concept of "wabi-sabi"

...over Halloween at a party there was one girl who was deep into a psychedelic trip and having an incredibly hard time, she was crying and obviously in a pretty scary place. I walked over to her and reached out my hand, and as soon as she took my hand her demeanor turned on a dime, she became calm, happy, and ecstatic. Talking to her the next morning she told me that she had never been in such a terrible place, but then when she saw me her nightmare slowly began to recede, and she said when she grabbed my hand that she was overcome with an intense wave of calming love and warmth, she said she felt that "everything was ok" just from taking my hand. She was nearly in tears when telling me this story, and concluded by wrapping her arms around me exclaiming "thank you, thank you so much"



...all and all, if you can take anything from what has been said here it should be that if you care for someone, if you love someone, or if you are attracted to someone, that you should find a say to let go of what's holding you back and should tell that person! Worst case scenario you suffer a rejection, and trust me, if I had a chance to give this girl love and happiness, and let fear of rejection stop me, I would never forgive myself.


 
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on November 03, 2018, 12:21:31 AM
you know yourself. you know your imperfections, your inner goodness. Be gentle with yourself, treat yourself kindly - just like you treated that person on Hallowe'en night.
Reach out your warm heart to yourself.
 a note to her could read: "i don't know why i'm so shy around you, but i'd love to be able to speak to you. Please accept this as an invitation to help me out."
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 03, 2018, 10:46:16 AM
Great response and advice.

I was honestly thinking that the whole note thing might be a little weird, I mean, I don't want to creep her out or anything, but damn, I wish I could get over myself and just say hello to her.

I think I'm afraid because I know she is too good for me. I come from a pretty wild background and have done things and been through things that most people would never believe. Plus, most people look at me and assume that I am a "hippie", and I really don't think that hippie guys would appeal to this girl, even though technically I'm not a hippie, I just love the dead.

I actually have a good deal of respect and admiration for this girl, she is up early in the morning ready to work, rain, shine, or snow, every single day and you can tell by the orange vest that she is doing real work.

Plus, she has a good head on her shoulders, I have overheard her talking with others a good deal, and she is smart, emotionally stable, and seems to be the exact opposite of the ditzy girls that can't tell the difference between "sexy" and "slutty" and are lacking in gray matter between the ears. This girl seems smart, responsible, and obviously has self-respect.

...so, not only is she beautiful, but I also have a good deal of respect and admiration for her.

...which again, leads to my issue of thinking that someone like her would never have any interest in someone like me.

...even if I could have her as a friend I would be happy.

I'm thinking that maybe having one of my female friends with me might help, I mean, she could initiate a conversation with her and then bring me into it, thus avoiding the issue of me having to just walk up, tap her on the shoulder so she looks up from her phone, and then attempting to sputter out an introduction.

I mean, it's not like we are total strangers, she has seen me most days of the week for quite sometime now, and she has overheard me talking with people, though one day I was coming off of MDMA and LSD and the bus driver kept roping me into conversation, I was totally brain-fried and nervous as hell because I knew she could hear me, and I'm pretty sure I made an ass of myself. ...and I have also heard her talking to others, so while we don't know each other and have never spoken to one another, we know each other better than just a random person off the street.

Honestly, I'm getting the feeling that I am going to be doomed when it comes to finding love. I'm not attracted to "party girls", or girls that use hard drugs, and I'm not attracted to girls who are emotionally unstable or too wild.

...I just want a nice girl with a good heart and a good head on her shoulders who isn't a hard drug user and who has high intelligence, high self-esteem and self-respect, who is responsible, compassionate, understanding, and who I can be myself around. That really doesn't seem like so much to ask to me.

I've looked for other girls, but I honestly just want a chance with this girl. If she rejects me or if she gives me a chance and it doesn't work out I would be fully happy moving on and looking elsewhere for love, but I at least want to try with this girl before I start looking for another.

I appreciate your responses, I'm sure that my complaining about my girl problems isn't very entertaining, and I'm sure it's not very creative, but I suppose it still counts as writing. Your responses have actually been pretty helpful.


Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 04, 2018, 05:44:00 AM
With a mind wide open, and eyes sealed shut,
Blindly I see,
The errors and roads,
Inside it grows,
So closely out of reach.

You struggle and fight against rising tides,
Like you're drowning in a sea,
Of a world corrupt, with a questioning trust,
You swim defiantly.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 04, 2018, 07:48:27 AM
incomplete poem number one:
You can be Free of sin and still be crucified,
You can be thrown into prison for experiencing such lucid highs,
you can be full of love staring into a dragons eyes,
you can be with ones you trust and still be victimized,
Or you can be with God above viewing eternity with an angels eyes.

 

  untitled poem number two
Come take a drink from my cup,
taste the decoction I brewed up,
Theres no wickedness in my witches brew,
and there's a seat here by the fire which has been saved just for you.

Its Golden copulations, divine manifestations of vivid sublime hallucinations, coupled with intense sensuous physical sensations.
Its life, death, and all that lays in between,
Its freeing your consciousness from the constraints of the physical machine.

So, come sit by the fire, come and have a drink with me, because tonight the Gods conspire to give you eyes which can truly see.
So come and sit by the fire and drink my witches brew, come sit by the fire, come and learn the truth.



....

I wrote these two poems off the top of my head, and specifically for this thread, I can't say that I was necessarily inspired, and I surly won't try to claim that the scraps of language above can even compare to my most mediocre works, but I was having some fun, just letting go and writing, not worrying about iambic pentameter, rhythm, rhyme structure, and so on. This was purely for fun, and Cleary imperfect.

I kind of like them though, they display "wabi-sabi"
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 04, 2018, 11:14:06 AM
This next piece is an excerpt from "Sailing to Byzantium" by
W. B. Yeats, it's the last two of the four stanzas that compose the work. These two stanzas have particular significance and meaning to me, and it only seemed fitting to share them.

Sailing to Byzantium; W. B. Yeats; excerpt of the last two stanzas of the poem
O sages standing in God’s holy fire
As in the gold mosaic of a wall,
Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre,
And be the singing-masters of my soul.
Consume my heart away; sick with desire
And fastened to a dying animal
It knows not what it is; and gather me
Into the artifice of eternity.

Once out of nature I shall never take
My bodily form from any natural thing,
But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling
To keep a drowsy Emperor awake;
Or set upon a golden bough to sing
To lords and ladies of Byzantium
Of what is past, or passing, or to come.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 04, 2018, 11:26:47 AM
A little rhyme that has always stuck with me.

the demons are of many kinds: "Some are made of ions, some of mind; the ones of ketamine, you'll find, stutter often and are blind." -terence McKenna
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on November 04, 2018, 01:57:19 PM
lots of great stuff.
your untitled-s are lovely.
mcKenna - succinct and fine
Yeats- divine
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 05, 2018, 09:29:20 AM
It's great to see someone who appreciates good poetry.

I know good poetry well enough to know that I'm not very good at it yet, my poems are mere nursery rhymes in comparison to W. B. Yeats or William Blake, but I guess we all must start somewhere, right?

I actually have some really good writing and poetry, however, I am very hesitant to share my best works in a venue where just about anybody could claim them as their own. Don't get me wrong, I would be flattered if someone claimed my poetry as their own, it's just some of my better works are deeply personal and have deep meaning and personal significance to me, those works are severed pieces of my soul, and as a result I'm very protective over them. Also, I am very shy, I don't even tell anyone that I read or write poetry.

The incomplete poems I wrote here, not necessarily for the thread, but I pulled up the thread and just started typing, and the end result was what you see here. Really not great, but not the most horrible poetry, I think I'm slowly getting better. ...I think my poems are all emotion and no technique, and that if I sharpen my skills and techniques I might have the potential to be a decent poet.

Any way, I'm glad you are reading the poems here.

When I was a kid I would read terence McKenna, and I always loved the way he was able to interpret that Yeats poem as speaking about "turning yourself inside out" where the soul would become exteriorized as the UFO, or a flying golden disc made of Grecian gold and gold enameling...


...That the soul must be made manifest and eternal and the body must be incorporealized so that it is a freely commanded object in the imagination.
What I mean by that is something like what William Butler Yeats is getting at in his poem, Sailing to Byzantium.  Where he speaks of the artifice of eternity and talks about how beyond death, he would hope to be an enameled golden bird singing sweet songs to the lords and ladies of Byzantium.  In other words, it’s the image of the human body become an indestructible cybernetic object and yet within that indestructible cybernetic object, there is a holographic transform of the body and it is released into the dream.  In other words, the after death state is actually the compass of human history that we are attempting to undergo a complete death of the species.  As we struggle with this concrescence of Thanatos, there are problems like nuclear stockpiles and all these things arise, because the message we’re trying to read is the message that we most fear to hear, which is that you must die to experience eternal life essentially.  But what this death that we’re talking about is, is an understanding that the human dasein, the being of human beings desires to be released into the imagination and until we confront death with the attitude that it is the after death state that needs to enter history, there will be a great deal of anxiety.

It’s like a birth.  A birth is a death.  Everything you treasure, believe in, love and relate to is destroyed for you when you leave the room and you are launched into another modality.  A modality that you would not perhaps have chosen but that you cannot do anything about.  So I think these drugs anticipate this because I think time is a moving image of eternity, as Plato said, and these drugs place you outside of time.  Now the mechanism of how that’s done, you can invoke Bell’s theorem, or just call it pure magic, but it does happen in the here and now.  It is accessible and it is not something remote from us.  But somehow the clamor of the modern world and in search for answers, people have feared to place themselves on the line and to actually wrestle with life and death ‘out there’ in those strange bardo like dimensions - not realizing that there is no other way to win true knowledge.  It cannot be easily come by.  There is no knowledge without risk taking. -terence McKenna


Most of the poems I really like relate to death in one way or another, however I don't view death in the western since where death is something dark and morbid, but more in the sense that it's an essential part of the natural process of being alive. I'm more like "day of the dead" where others are more "Halloween" , you know?
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 05, 2018, 09:34:58 AM
All you that faine philosophers would be,
And night and day in Geber's kitchen broyle,
Wasting the chips of ancient Hermes' Tree,
Weening to turn them to a precious oyle,
The more you work the more you loose and spoile;
To you, I say, how learned soever you be,
Go burne your Bookes and come and learn of me.
- Sir Edward Kelly, Metrical Treatise on Alchemy. Last stanza

This poem above has stuck with me since my youth. I have my own personal interpretation of this poem, however, my interpretation probably isn't that far off from Kelly's intended meaning behind the work. While there is no evidence that john Dee or Edward Kelley had any connection to actual psychedelics, their alchemical thought process and ethos is more psychedelic than most would realize.

Any way, great work of alchemical poetry.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 05, 2018, 09:41:01 AM
One of my all time favorite poems.

Auguries Of Innocence
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

A Robin Red breast in a Cage
Puts all Heaven in a Rage.
A dove house fill'd with doves & Pigeons
Shudders Hell thro' all its regions.

A dog starv'd at his Master's Gate
Predicts the ruin of the State.
A Horse misus'd upon the Road
Calls to Heaven for Human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted Hare
A fibre from the Brain does tear.
A Skylark wounded in the wing,
A Cherubim does cease to sing.
The Game Cock clipp'd and arm'd for fight
Does the Rising Sun affright.
Every Wolf's & Lion's howl
Raises from Hell a Human Soul.
The wild deer, wand'ring here & there,
Keeps the Human Soul from Care.
The Lamb misus'd breeds public strife
And yet forgives the Butcher's Knife.
The Bat that flits at close of Eve
Has left the Brain that won't believe.
The Owl that calls upon the Night
Speaks the Unbeliever's fright.
He who shall hurt the little Wren
Shall never be belov'd by Men.
He who the Ox to wrath has mov'd
Shall never be by Woman lov'd.
The wanton Boy that kills the Fly
Shall feel the Spider's enmity.
He who torments the Chafer's sprite
Weaves a Bower in endless Night.
The Catterpillar on the Leaf
Repeats to thee thy Mother's grief.
Kill not the Moth nor Butterfly,
For the Last Judgement draweth nigh.
He who shall train the Horse to War
Shall never pass the Polar Bar.
The Beggar's Dog & Widow's Cat,
Feed them & thou wilt grow fat.
The Gnat that sings his Summer's song
Poison gets from Slander's tongue.
The poison of the Snake & Newt
Is the sweat of Envy's Foot.
The poison of the Honey Bee
Is the Artist's Jealousy.
The Prince's Robes & Beggars' Rags
Are Toadstools on the Miser's Bags.
A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the Lies you can invent.
It is right it should be so;
Man was made for Joy & Woe;
And when this we rightly know
Thro' the World we safely go.
Joy & Woe are woven fine,
A Clothing for the Soul divine;
Under every grief & pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
The Babe is more than swadling Bands;
Throughout all these Human Lands
Tools were made, & born were hands,
Every Farmer Understands.
Every Tear from Every Eye
Becomes a Babe in Eternity.
This is caught by Females bright
And return'd to its own delight.
The Bleat, the Bark, Bellow & Roar
Are Waves that Beat on Heaven's Shore.
The Babe that weeps the Rod beneath
Writes Revenge in realms of death.
The Beggar's Rags, fluttering in Air,
Does to Rags the Heavens tear.
The Soldier arm'd with Sword & Gun,
Palsied strikes the Summer's Sun.
The poor Man's Farthing is worth more
Than all the Gold on Afric's Shore.
One Mite wrung from the Labrer's hands
Shall buy & sell the Miser's lands:
Or, if protected from on high,
Does that whole Nation sell & buy.
He who mocks the Infant's Faith
Shall be mock'd in Age & Death.
He who shall teach the Child to Doubt
The rotting Grave shall ne'er get out.
He who respects the Infant's faith
Triumph's over Hell & Death.
The Child's Toys & the Old Man's Reasons
Are the Fruits of the Two seasons.
The Questioner, who sits so sly,
Shall never know how to Reply.
He who replies to words of Doubt
Doth put the Light of Knowledge out.
The Strongest Poison ever known
Came from Caesar's Laurel Crown.
Nought can deform the Human Race
Like the Armour's iron brace.
When Gold & Gems adorn the Plow
To peaceful Arts shall Envy Bow.
A Riddle or the Cricket's Cry
Is to Doubt a fit Reply.
The Emmet's Inch & Eagle's Mile
Make Lame Philosophy to smile.
He who Doubts from what he sees
Will ne'er believe, do what you Please.
If the Sun & Moon should doubt
They'd immediately Go out.
To be in a Passion you Good may do,
But no Good if a Passion is in you.
The Whore & Gambler, by the State
Licenc'd, build that Nation's Fate.
The Harlot's cry from Street to Street
Shall weave Old England's winding Sheet.
The Winner's Shout, the Loser's Curse,
Dance before dead England's Hearse.
Every Night & every Morn
Some to Misery are Born.
Every Morn & every Night
Some are Born to sweet Delight.
Some ar Born to sweet Delight,
Some are born to Endless Night.
We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro' the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to Perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light.
God Appears & God is Light
To those poor Souls who dwell in the Night,
But does a Human Form Display
To those who Dwell in Realms of day.
-William Blake
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 05, 2018, 09:52:50 AM
Every Morn & every Night
Some are Born to sweet Delight.
Some ar Born to sweet Delight,
Some are born to Endless Night.
-William Blake

Realms of bliss, realms of light
Some are born to sweet delight
Some are born to sweet delight
Some are born to the endless night
End of the night, end of the night
End of the night, end of the night
-Jim Morrison

You can really see a lot of William Blake's influence on Jim Morrison, I mean, Jim even decided to name his band after one of my favorite William Blake quotes: If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is: Infinite. -William Blake

...most people assumed that Jim took the name from aldous Huxley's work "the doors of perception", not knowing that Huxley took the name from Blake, as did Jim.

...any way, William Blake's influence on Morrison is obvious.

William Blake is my favorite poet, and I would say James Joyce and terence McKenna are at the top of my "favorite writers" list, but there are too many great writers to even list.

I almost consider "Finnegans Wake" by James Joyce to be a work of poetry, though I consider that work to be many, many, other things as well...
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 05, 2018, 10:01:51 AM
The Clod and the Pebble

‘Love seeketh not itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care,
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a Heaven in Hell’s despair.’

So sung a little Clod of Clay
Trodden with the cattle’s feet,
But a Pebble of the brook
Warbled out these metres meet:

‘Love seeketh only self to please,
To bind another to its delight,
Joys in another’s loss of ease,
And builds a Hell in Heaven’s despite.’

-William Blake
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on November 05, 2018, 10:51:03 PM
warning - this thread to be read gently and with self-compassion.
breathe periodically. take a few mindful breaths. then, when ready, proceed.
a human heart is a delicate receptacle.  Wide spacey thoughts may open one's brain. Not to be read while driving or operating heavy machinery.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 06, 2018, 09:15:33 AM
Spacey thoughts? Here? Not likely.

This is higher functioning on an intellectual and a conscious level, however, the invalidation of such functioning and thoughts is an inimical part of it's structure...

Back to poetry:

I actually think that William Blake's 'clod and the pebble" is a perfect juxtaposition of the two forms that love tends to take, you have the clod which represents selfless love and the pebble which represents selfish love.

I could spend days analyzing these poems, but for the sake of this thread will keep things short, all though I'm probably the only person besides you who is reading any if this...
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 06, 2018, 09:21:43 AM
Mind of psilocybin
by lucid optics
Observe and interpret
Up from the core to the surface
We are tenuous flicks of scintillation
Given an invitation to take a position in this pulsation
Life is death's vacation
As a child I was a vagrant
Learned every home held it's own fragrance
Differing versions of sacred decorate each person's faces
They complicate the basics till the common ground is evasive
Is it strange
Who take the cake weighs most?
And swallows hope of the masses
To live lavishly
Lay low
Found our way around this molecule
If we can scrape by in solitude
We'll climb grape vines when all of you
Shape this world how you wanted to
I'd like to eat well and to
Keep companions closer than the common recluse
Spewing seclusion in conclusion

Good leaders are no different than their followers
However elitists breed the fetus like it's Jesus...
Fucking... christ!
Dictated its life
Without realizing that your mind is yours for finding
Close your eyes and dive in privacy

We treat each other like garbage
Are we mimicking our surroundings?

Are we parrots with what we found
Or parasitic?
Killing our grounding

Astound I wither toward the grave
My fire flickers
As this unrelenting winter turns fingers to decrepit splinters
My voice in different locations
I'm a neutrino to Lucid adjacent
Communicating statements without leaving my current placement
Listen:
Even when your will to be awake plummets and breaks
Don't be so distant and faceless
Just perforate the stasis
And represent yourself
Not your enemies and demons
[/b]
Represent your self
Not your enemies and demons
It can be easy to grudge on autopilot for awhile
But you can probably cut some slack to people when
They can't make you smile
[/b]
Free yourself from your own grip
Start to make some of your own shit
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 06, 2018, 09:28:05 AM
Misanthropic drugged up loner
by Whitney Flynn & Jesse Sendejas

My breakfast is straight out the medicine cabinet
A remedy for the aftermath of my habits
Sometimes it's the ones who try to help
That hurt the most
I feel like we're playing tug of war and I'm the rope
And I'm stretched to the limit
But you keep on pulling me
And I'm gonna lose my goddamn mind, I'm gonna lose my mind


I want to hide away in the back of a cave
At the top of a mountain
Where no one can hear me and no one can see me
So I don't have to deal with them
And they don't have to deal with me
'Cause relationships are overrated
Maybe I'm just tired and jaded
But I'm sorry I just like myself more than I like you

So call me anti-social, call it masturbation
Either way it's a solo operation
I'm just far more comfortable alone


It appears that apathy
Has gotten the best of me
'Cause I'm so tired of you talking my ear off
About all your problems I just can't fix
I don't appreciate this unwanted company
And your constant chatter
Reminds me why I'd rather you leave me be
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on November 06, 2018, 10:50:18 PM
there's a time to fill up the bucket
and a time to empty it.
(astrologer, Toronto, 1984)
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 07, 2018, 09:23:31 AM
Ode 2180
By Jalal al-Din Muhammad Rumi, or Rumi for short

From these depths depart towards heaven;
may your soul be happy, journey joyfully.
You have escaped from the city full of fear and trembling;
happily become a resident of the Abode of Security
If the body’s image has gone, await the image-maker; if the
body is utterly ruined, become all soul.
If your face has become saffron pale through death, become a
dweller among tulip beds and Judas trees.
If the doors of repose have been barred to you, come, depart
by way of the roof and the ladder.
If you are alone from Friends and companions, by the help of
God become a saheb-qeran [lord of happy circumstance].
If you have been secluded from water and bread, like bread
become the food of the souls, and so become!
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 07, 2018, 09:33:36 AM
Il Penseroso

Hence vain deluding joyes,
The brood of folly without father bred,
How little you bested,
Or fill the fixed mind with all your toyes;
Dwell in som idle brain, [ 5 ]
And fancies fond with gaudy shapes possess,
As thick and numberless
As the gay motes that people the Sun Beams,
Or likest hovering dreams
The fickle Pensioners of Morpheus train.

Or let my Lamp at midnight hour,
Be seen in som high lonely Towr,
Where I may oft out-watch the Bear,
With thrice great Hermes, or unsphear
The spirit of Plato to unfold
What Worlds, or what vast Regions hold


...

But hail thou Goddes, sage and holy,
Hail divinest Melancholy,
Whose Saintly visage is too bright
To hit the Sense of human sight;
And therfore to our weaker view, [ 15 ]
Ore laid with black staid Wisdoms hue.
Black, but such as in esteem,
Prince Memnons sister might beseem,
Or that Starr'd Ethiope Queen that strove
To set her beauties praise above [ 20 ]
The Sea Nymphs, and their powers offended.
Yet thou art higher far descended,
Thee bright- hair'd Vesta long of yore,
To solitary Saturn bore;
His daughter she (in Saturns raign, [ 25 ]
Such mixture was not held a stain).
Oft in glimmering Bowres, and glades
He met her, and in secret shades
Of woody Ida's inmost grove,
While yet there was no fear of Jove.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 07, 2018, 09:39:55 AM

‘When the doors of perception are cleansed
Things will appear as they are:
Infinite.’

—William Blake

‘There are things known
and there are things unknown,
and in between are the doors.’
—Jim Morrison

the doors
by Jim Morrison
Moment of inner freedom
when the mind is opened & the
infinite universe revealed
& the soul is left to wander
dazed & confus’d searching
here & there for teachers & friends.
 

 
People need Connectors
Writers, heroes, stars, leaders
To give life form.
A child’s sand boat facing
the sun.
Plastic soldiers in the miniature
dirt war. Forts.
Garage Rocket Ships
 
Ceremonies, theatre, dances
To reassert
Tribal needs and memories
a call to worship, uniting
above all, a reversion,
a longing for family and the
safety magic of childhood
 

 
A man rakes leaves into
a heap in his yard, a pile,
and leans on his rake and
burns them utterly.
 
The fragrance fills the forest
children pause and heed the
smell, which will become
nostalgia in several years.
 

 
An angel runs
Thru the sudden light
Thru the room
A ghost precedes us
A shadow follows us
And each time we stop
We fall
 

 
The Endless quest a vigil
of watchtowers and fortresses
against the sea and time.
Have they won? Perhaps.
They still stand and in
their silent rooms still wander
the souls of the dead,
who keep their watch on the living.
Soon enough we shall join them.
Soon enough we shall walk
the walls of time. We shall
miss nothing
except each other.
 

 
No one thought up being;
he who thinks he has
Step forward
 

 
The Crossroads
a place where ghosts
reside to whisper into
the ears of travelers &
interest them in their fate
 
Hitchhiker drinks:
“I call again on the dark
hidden gods of blood”
 
—Why do you call us?
You know our price. It
never changes. Death of
you will give you life
& free you from a vile
fate. But it is getting late.
 
—If I could see you again
& talk w/ you, & walk a
short while in your company,
& drink the heady brew
of your conversations,
I thought
 
—to rescue a soul already
ruined. To achieve respite.
To plunder green gold
on a pirate raid & bring
to camp the glory of old.
 
—As the capesman faces
poisoned horns & drinks
red victory; the soldier,
too, w/ his trophy, a
pierced helmet; & the
ledge-walker shuddering
his way into inward grace
 
—(laughter) Well, then. Would
you mock yourself?
 
—No.
 
—Soon our voices must become
one, or one must leave.
 

 
There was preserved
 
in her
 
The fresh miracle
 
of
 
surprise.
 

 
open
 
The Night is young
& full of rest
I can’t describe
the way she’s dress’d
She’ll pander to some strange
requests
Anything that you suggest
Anything to please her guest
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 07, 2018, 09:42:52 AM
Stoned Immaculate
Shake dreams from your hair
My pretty child, my sweet one.
Choose the day and
choose the sign of your day
The day’s divinity
First thing you see.
A vast radiant beach
in a cool jeweled moon
Couples naked race down by it’s quiet side
And we laugh like soft, mad children
Smug in the woolly cotton brains of infancy
The music and voices are all around us.
Choose, they croon, the Ancient Ones
The time has come again
Choose now, they croon,
Beneath the moon
Beside an ancient lake
Enter again the sweet forest
Enter the hot dream
Come with us
Everything is broken up and dances.
-Jim morrison
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 08, 2018, 09:06:02 AM
“To make this trivial world sublime, take half a gram of phanerothyme.” -Aldous Huxley

"To fathom Hell or soar angelic, just take a pinch of psychedelic" -Osmond
Or
To fall in Hell or soar angelic / You'll need a pinch of psychedelic -Humphry Osmond

Some background on these rhymes:

The term psychedelic, which means “mind-manifesting,” was coined by Humphry Osmond and suggested to his peers in 1957 at a meeting of the New York Academy of Sciences. He borrowed ancient Greek to give the word “psychedelic” meaning, using the Greek words psyche (mind) and delos (manifest). Aldous Huxley, in a letter to Osmond, came up with his own term, “phanerothyme,” which he suggested to Osmond in the rhyme. “To make this trivial world sublime, take half a gram of phanerothyme.” Osmond replied with his own rhyme, “To fathom Hell or soar angelic, just take a pinch of psychedelic.” Osmond’s term was adopted, giving these unique substances their distinct identity and classification.
https://psychedelictimes.com/psychedelic-therapy/giving-psychedelic-meaning-5-fascinating-things-about-humphry-osmond-the-man-who-invented-the-word-psychedelic/



Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 08, 2018, 09:08:44 AM
Dark Star
by Robert C. Hunter
Dark star crashes, pouring its light into ashes.
Reason tatters, the forces tear loose from the axis.
Searchlight casting for faults in the clouds of delusion.
Shall we go, you and I while we can
Through the transitive nightfall of diamonds?
Mirror shatters in formless reflections of matter.
Glass hand dissolving to ice petal flowers revolving.
Lady in velvet recedes in the nights of goodbye.
Shall we go, you and I while we can
Through the transitive nightfall of diamonds?
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 08, 2018, 09:10:01 AM
“To make this trivial world sublime, take half a gram of phanerothyme.” -Aldous Huxley

"To fathom Hell or soar angelic, just take a pinch of psychedelic" -Osmond
Or
To fall in Hell or soar angelic / You'll need a pinch of psychedelic -Humphry Osmond


Some background on these rhymes:

The term psychedelic, which means “mind-manifesting,” was coined by Humphry Osmond and suggested to his peers in 1957 at a meeting of the New York Academy of Sciences. He borrowed ancient Greek to give the word “psychedelic” meaning, using the Greek words psyche (mind) and delos (manifest). Aldous Huxley, in a letter to Osmond, came up with his own term, “phanerothyme,” which he suggested to Osmond in the rhyme. “To make this trivial world sublime, take half a gram of phanerothyme.” Osmond replied with his own rhyme, “To fathom Hell or soar angelic, just take a pinch of psychedelic.” Osmond’s term was adopted, giving these unique substances their distinct identity and classification.
https://psychedelictimes.com/psychedelic-therapy/giving-psychedelic-meaning-5-fascinating-things-about-humphry-osmond-the-man-who-invented-the-word-psychedelic/
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 08, 2018, 10:03:04 AM
I still want to be with her. I didn't see her yesterday, and today I was hardly able to glance up from my notebook. I've gotten better at keeping my attention off of her, though I know one of these days I'm eventually going to introduce myself to her.
  Yesterday was the only day this week where I wasn't graced by her angelic presence. The whole time I thought "what if that's it, and I won't be seeing her again?", I think to myself if I would have been satisfied when looking back at my past if I never talked to her.

Even if she brakes my heart or rejects me, that's still better than the thought of not even trying.

I know I'm going to get shot down, so that could be another contributing factor relating to my hesitations with her.

...I know if she gave me a chance I would be able to show her how much I could do for her, and I know that I could prove to her that I could keep her satisfied and happy.

  I always hoped that she would be the one to say hello to me. She is always sitting by herself, and is usually busy on her phone. I never want to interrupt her.
  I've never met another girl that is so perfect, and its driving me crazy that I'm about to let her just slip through my fingers. If I talk to her, and she rejects me, which she probably will, at least I will be able to say I tried.
   Aside from her immaculate pulchritude and stunning sensuous presence she has other traits which are admirable and worthy of respect. This girl is incredibly gorgeous, she is hard working and responsible, and is also sharp and worthy of respect.
  From her beautiful brunette hair, and golden heart and soul to her angelic presence and sensuous style, she is perfect in every way.

I would do absolutely anything for her, and would do anything just to see her smile and to make her happy.

I usually have my headphones on, so I can never hear anything that's going on around me. She was on the phone by me the other day, but to remain polite I kept my music playing loud and didn't hear what she was saying. I love her voice, which is a first, I have never really cared much about what a girls voice sounds like, but her voice drives me crazy (in a good way), I could listen to her talk for all eternity and still never get tired of the sound of her voice.

I wonder if she knows that ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS SAY HELLO and she would have me, fully devoted to her and only her. I wonder if she knows that I would do anything for her, and would do whatever it would take to prove to her that I have what it takes to be hers, and that I could keep her happy, and that I would give her anything or do anything that her heart desired.

Why can't I just talk to her?

Why won't she just talk to me? After seeing me every day for nearly a few years, and after sitting within 5 feet of me nearly every day for just as long, why has she never wanted to talk to me?

I guess I should take that as a sign that she isn't interested, but what if I'm wrong?

Most girls that I know expect males to approach them, and while I've never received a clear answer as to why this is the case, it does seem to be somewhat of a standard amongst females.

So, I can sit back and hope and pray that she talks to me...

...or I can find a way to introduce myself to her.

Sooner or later one or the other is bound to happen.

I really don't want to let her pass by. I would probably regret it forever if I managed to let a girl like that go without at least respectfully explaining to her how I feel.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on November 08, 2018, 10:31:51 PM
poetry inspires
real life actions show us what we are
we practice to be how we want to be
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 09, 2018, 09:23:30 AM
Interesting.

My real life actions are based off of compassion, selflessness, mindfulness, and karma.
 
I keep to myself, and in most cases I will not speak to others unless they speak to me first. I will usually be quietly reading or working in a notebook, and generally will go unnoticed by most.

When I do act it is with kindness and compassion.

Yesterday I was riding the bus, it was quite cold outside, and a homeless man had boarded the bus. He stood in front of the driver digging through his pockets as if he had money or a transfer to give the driver, this went on for several stops, so, I finally got up and gave the man bus fare.

...its billions of selfless acts like the one described above on a  daily basis.

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 09, 2018, 09:34:48 AM
I didn't get to see the girl that I am attracted to today, and I never see her on Saturdays, so the best I can do is hope to see her on Monday.

Every time I feel like "today is the day that I talk to her" she manages to not show up, and on the days when I'm not feeling up to talking to anybody she always seems to show up, even providing me with some opportunities to say hello. Its happened twice this week, on the two days I was prepared to talk to her she didn't show up.

I've accepted that it's probably never going to happen with her, but its still nice to see her.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on November 09, 2018, 11:34:36 PM
if you were to know that you have one week to do everything you wanted to do, would you choose to speak to her?
treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Through mindfulness, know that your thoughts, fears aren't you - they're merely thoughts and fears. They pass and other emotions, thoughts take their place.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 10, 2018, 11:37:59 AM
Melanie
by intrepid_traveler
*incomplete*
She says I am everything that she wishes he could be,
yet she stays with him and then comes crying to me.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 12, 2018, 09:29:03 AM
if you were to know that you have one week to do everything you wanted to do, would you choose to speak to her?
treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Through mindfulness, know that your thoughts, fears aren't you - they're merely thoughts and fears. They pass and other emotions, thoughts take their place.

See, I have played out similar scenarios in my mind, and honestly I'm still not sure if I would talk to her...

Don't get me wrong, this girl stole my heart the first time I saw her, but I still can't help but thinking that she deserves so much better than me.

.. like, if she came up to me, and if she clearly had enough interest to take the initiative to start a conversation, and if I could feel a connection when we were talking, than I would have no choice but to follow my instincts and to give her all of the love that I possibly could, every day showing her that she is the most valuable treasure in this universe, and doing every single thing that I possibly could to make her smile and to keep her happy.

...however, if I initiate the first conversation, and if I'm the one making all of the effort to make it happen, then it will feel like I forced the situation.

I've always taken a Taoist approach to most things.

Any way, I might see her tomorrow, so I might as well just talk to her. Though every time she is near me and I'm preparing to say hello I become all nervous and shaken, I get really self-conscious and scared and just continue writing in my notebook doing my best to act like I don't notice her.

If she just Sat in the seat next to me, or tapped me on the shoulder, and put me in a position where I was obligated to interact with her I know everything would turn out fine.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 12, 2018, 09:51:31 AM
I did not get to see Her today, which was kind of disheartening as I usually see Her on Mondays.

There is a chance that I Will get to see Her tomorrow.

Even though it's always somewhat stressful being around her in the sense that I end up driving myself mad trying to summon the courage to make an introduction, it's always a gift to be graced by beauteous presence.

From her beautiful brunette hair and her sweet angelic voice, to the warmth and beauty which radiates from her core, it's a blessing just to get to spend time in her presence, whether I'm able to interact with her or not, I feel like its a privilege just to be near her, and seeing her always makes my day better...

...aside from the frustration of knowing that even though she is only a few feet away from me on most days that those few feet might as well be light-years. Its discouraging thinking that after all this time she has never wanted to talk to me, or of she has she has always done a good job of hiding it. Its disheartening knowing that I couldn't even dream of a girl so perfect, yet also knowing that ill probably never be able to have her.

Its strange, I posted about hearing her talk on the phone before, and the two times I saw her after that she was on her phone. I had my headphones on and couldn't hear what she was saying, and out of respect decided to continue to go about my business without eavesdropping in on her conversation, however, something tells me that maybe I should have, I mean, maybe she thought I could hear her and passively said something she thought I might pick up on... ..but who knows. I'm probably way over thinking all of this.

I just wish that she knew how I felt.

I suspect that she might know that I'm attracted to her, but I wish that she knew for sure.

Sometimes I talk to this other girl who is around when she is, I was thinking, maybe I could have that girl go talk to her for me, and to tell her that I really like her and that I'm really attracted to her. I mean, at least that way I will know for sure that she knows.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 12, 2018, 03:42:12 PM
Winter time love
by Jim Morrison
Wintertime winds blow cold the season
Fallen in love, I'm hoping to be
Wind is so cold, is that the reason?
Keeping you warm, your hands touching me
Come with me dance, my dear
Winter's so cold this year
You are so warm
My wintertime love to be
Winter time winds blue and freezing
Coming from northern storms in the sea
Love has been lost, is that the reason?
Trying so desperately to be free
Come with me dance, my dear
Winter's so cold this year
You are so warm
My wintertime love to be
Come with me dance, my dear
Winter's so cold this year
You are so warm
My wintertime love to be
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on November 12, 2018, 11:09:16 PM
jim morrison knows how to waltz. soundtrack for a day of the unknown
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 14, 2018, 09:56:24 AM
I saw her yesterday (Tuesday), which made my day, she even sat right next to me! The whole time I was going mad inside thinking that I should just talk to her. Seriously, she was only like three feet away from me, and I froze up. ...I sat there writing in my notebook praying that she would just tap me on the shoulder and start a conversation. Why won't she talk to me?

I saw her today (Wednesday), but some other girl was sitting in her seat so she ended up sitting across from me. Usually I am too nervous to turn my head and look at her, but because today she was at a distance I felt comfortable stealing a glance at her, and she is even more beautiful than I had thought. I spend so much time trying to ignore her and trying to fight my attraction to her that I often don't have the chance to just sit down and look at her, and every time I do she is more beautiful and perfect than I had remembered.

I know I probably sound like a broken record going on about her sublime pulchritudeness, sensuous manner, angelic voice, beautiful brunette hair, admirable work ethic, and her loving and warm heart and soul, but believe me, these words can't even begin to express my true feelings for her. She has a heart, soul, and beauty that is beyond perfection, and not only is she outstandingly gorgeous, but she has many admirable traits and obviously deserves the highest respect.

She looked so cute this morning when she was walking over to her seat and then quickly sitting, all bundled up in her winter coat with her bag on her lap and her arms clutched tightly around bag. She was so adorable in that moment. She always looks so warm and comforting, it always makes me wish that I could just hold her in my arms.

...today I could see her in the window of the moving vehicle that I had just exited as it rolled into the early morning darkness, and I found myself captivated and awestruck by how incredibly pretty she was, and not just how adorable she looked today, but how every time I see her she always looks so incredible, the type of genuine beauty that makes your heart melt and your knees weak.

She truly is special, and every day I always want to show her how beautiful, amazing, and valuable she is. I wish I could be there waiting for her with flowers, or other gifts every morning when I first see her, and I could give her gifts and shower her with compliments and affection. I would never let her forget that she is the most beautiful, gorgeous, intelligent, treasure in this entire universe, and I would do absolutely anything I could to show her how special she is, and how much she truly means to me, I want to remind her that she is perfect, and that she deserves the best.

I'm pretty sure I will get to see her tomorrow, at least I usually get to see her on Thursdays. Its always such a let down on the mornings when I am not graced with her presence.

...every morning that I see her I am always hoping and praying that she will finally talk to me.

...at this point I wouldn't blame her if she slapped me in the face and said "do you want this to happen or not!".

I just wish she would talk to me, even if it was to say that she wasn't interested.

I don't understand why she hasn't wanted to talk to me yet. I have always just assumed that it was because she didn't like me, but what if I'm wrong? What if she does like me and we are both too nervous to get things moving?

...I've got to stop thinking like that, the last thing I need to do is get my hopes up daydreaming that she might be interested in me. At this point I think it's safer to just assume that she doesn't like me and that she will never talk to me.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on November 14, 2018, 10:48:49 PM
enjoy this period. It's unique and wonderful.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 15, 2018, 09:55:19 AM
I didn't get to see Her today.

Every time I pass 26th street without seeing Her it brings me down a little bit. I guess as I am approaching 26th street I always anticipate running into her, and when it doesn't happen it's always some what of a let down.

I almost never see her on Fridays and I have never run into her on a Saturday. If I'm lucky I might see her tomorrow, but Monday is probably my best chance.

...why won't she talk to me?

Is it because she isn't interested? Is it because she doesn't even notice me?

...it would be nice if it was because she was attracted to me and was also too shy to say anything.

...but as I said, I can't go getting my hopes up like that.

I still just hope and pray that one of these days she will talk to me.

...or I at least wish she knew how much I liked her, and how much I would be willing to do for her.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on November 15, 2018, 11:10:41 PM
listening.  One day this situation will change its nature, and the time will be right
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 16, 2018, 09:41:01 AM
Yeah, probably.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: cenacle on November 17, 2018, 01:00:53 AM
Looking back at my younger years, and all the girls I feared to talk to, I realize that my fear and desire and excited emotions were all about me, not whatever her of the moment. Want is exciting and mysterious, inspiring. Some people are too, and some are not. And some are but not for me or you, but for someone else.

But I now think it's better to speak up and know, cut the bubble of ignorance. If she's not the one, once you have tried, then move on. There are a billion, more than that, desirable girls in this world. Many are taken. Many are sleeping alone tonight. Given what little I have learned at this point, I would rather speak up, and move on sooner, if need be, than look and wish and want and not know. I wasted way too much time on that.

And it's likely, given how much you have looked at her and so on, she knows, and is either waiting for you to get to it, or isn't interested.

So it's about you, right now. Act. That's my advice. Good luck either way. It's nice to see this forum Judih and I have moderated for so long getting such a passionate workout in this thread.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 17, 2018, 06:25:44 AM
Great advice.

I think it's nice being able to admire someone, and to be able to see them as beautiful, but I'm also comfortable in allowing her to pass me by if that's her choice.

I've always taken a very Taoist approach to how I handle things...

...and while it seems a poor strategy in romance, I feel that in the end things will work out as they were meant to.

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 17, 2018, 06:28:15 AM
Emily Dickinson
Because I could not stop for Death (first stanza)

Because I could not stop for Death – He kindly stopped for me – The Carriage held but just Ourselves – And Immortality.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 17, 2018, 10:25:10 AM
Most of the cats that you meet on the streets speak of true love,
Most of the time they're sittin' and cryin' at home.
One of these days they know they better get goin'
Out of the door and down on the streets all alone.
-good ole grateful dead


Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 17, 2018, 11:01:25 AM
Well, I Will probably see Her on Monday, and while I would love to be the one who gets things moving I am probably just going to sit there praying for the miracle of her approaching me.

...actually, she makes it more than easy in terms of giving me opportunities to interact with Her, she will sit right next to me, or she will sit across from me right in my line of sight, and while she is usually focussed on her mobile device I still think it would be more than easy to get her attention...

I can't help but wonder what she actually thinks of me. I know she notices me...

When you said earlier "she must see you looking at her", well, I really don't think that could be the case, I actually do my best to ignore Her, and I have been fighting my attraction for her since the first time i saw her. I think I've always known that she was out of my reach, I just don't want to accept it, I keep thinking that if by some miracle she is interested in me that she will find a say to let me know, and if she could send me at least some type of a clue that I might have a chance then I would not hesitate to make every first move from there on out.

...maybe she has been trying to give me hints and I'm just too dim to pick up on them. Maybe by sitting next to me, but by still being too nervous or shy or whatever to talk to me she is somehow trying to tell me "look guy, you got my attention, now act on it"

...or I could be completely wrong. It could be that she really isn't interested at all and thus goes out of Her way to not pay attention to me even when she is sitting only a few feet away.

This is the first time any of this has ever happened to me. I've never been too nervous to talk to a girl before, but then again, I've never encountered a girl like this before. Usually I would be happy to get shot down and then move on...

... I know everybody says "this girl is special", though I can assure you that I've never been one of them, that is until the first time I saw her.

Any way, I think it's a cause that was doomed from the start.

Unless that is she decides to talk to me. That's all she has to do.

 If she decides that she will give me a chance all she has to do is say so, and I would be fully devoted to her and only her from that moment on.

I want to ask the girl from 23rd to talk to her for me, or maybe just bring her into a conversation that involves the three of us and then slowly fading herself out.


The gorgeous brunette from 26th street on her way to work early in the morning will always have my heart, and I would do anything I could for her if she would give me a chance.

Hell, it's not like I could ever say "no" to any request she could have of me, I would do anything and everything I possibly could for her.

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 17, 2018, 11:07:05 AM
There is something going on there, but I can't pin-point what it is.

It's definitely a strange situation which I don't fully understand.

Without saying more I think the important piece of that post is what has been repeated below. I'm sure this sounds redundant in general, but eventually something will happen...

I think I've always known that she was out of my reach, I just don't want to accept it...

... I keep thinking that if by some miracle she is interested in me that she will find a way to let me know, and if she could send me at least some type of a clue that I might have a chance then I would not hesitate to make every first move from there on out.

...maybe she has been trying to give me hints and I'm just too dim to pick up on them. Maybe by sitting next to me, but by still being too nervous or shy or whatever to talk to me she is somehow trying to tell me "look guy, you got my attention, now act on it"

...or I could be completely wrong. It could be that she really isn't interested at all and thus goes out of Her way to not pay attention to me even when she is sitting only a few feet away.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on November 17, 2018, 09:52:51 PM
she's there. That's the clue.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 18, 2018, 07:46:08 AM
Yeah. I suppose you are correct.

It really is somewhat embarrassing unburdening myself of these thoughts in such a public forum, but I have always figured these thoughts were better in print than rattling around in my head. Its a form of evicting these thoughts and feelings from my conscious stream and unloading them somewhere else to be sifted through and dealt with at a later time.

I had a strange trip last night. It was introspective and life altering, but not in the traditional sense of facing the fact that your an asshole 15 times a minute, but in the sense of being able to just fucking let go and peacefully become part of the whole, when you dissolve into nothing you realize you are one with everything.

when you dissolve into nothing you realize you are one with everything.

Jerry garcia once said that when you leave something undefined it in a sense becomes everything, and last night I lost what very little definition I had to begin with.

Jerry garcia really was one of the clearest thinking humans that I have ever encountered. Literally, every time jerry was questioned on some issue his response would always be cheerfully surprising and far deeper than it could ever seem just on the surface. Bob hunter and Garcia and actually all of the deads lyrics are like scraps of life wisdom which you have to live your way into understanding, always deep and meaningful with a touch of humor and a slight ironic tinge.

Any way, when it comes to the girl that I like I might have to violate my principle of passively accepting what comes my way with ease and grace and openness, I might be forced into forcing the situation, which is a risk, I might benefit, though things could also horribly blowback on me... if there even is a me anymore.

The night ended incredibly strange.

I ended I locked into a deeply emotional tear filled session with a girl that I had just met. There was a good deal of dredging up past memories and deep emotional life events, there was a good deal of holding each other in our arms and crying together, and a good deal of connection between people which rarely occurs, she was totally open, totally honest.

The night ended with me playing songs for her on my guitar, I knew a lot of her favorites, mostly dead and sublime songs, and it really seemed to cheer her up.

one song in particular that I played and sang for her really had an impact, and I could tell that it meant a lot to her, and really did make her feel better:

iya terra
life goes on
Lift up your head weary one
I see that sorrow in your eyes
Life got you down again
But you've got to realize
It takes time to learn, it takes time to grow
So be patient and be kind, And
If you ask with ease and grace
All that you seek you will find

Dust to dust and ash to ash
This too shall pass in the time, and you
Got to trust, yeah you got to trust
Good things coming in time, and Life Goes On
Life Goes On, woe

And you can count on me to be the one
That's never gonna leave you lonely
Count on me to be the one
That is gonna love you always, woe woe
When you're feeling sad and blue
I'll be there to see you through, so
Don't cry no more
I said don't cry, my darling

True it takes some time for one to refine
The steps upon the path you are leading
The harder the pursuit, it remains the truth
The harder it will be to achieve it
And though you feel like giving up
When the path gets rough
You must be string, life must go
Don't cry, my darling, don't cry

Dust to dust and ash to ash
This too shall pass in the time, and you
Got to trust, yeah you got to trust
Good things coming in time, and Life Goes On
Life Goes On, woe
Life Goes On

And you can count on me to be the one
That's never gonna leave you lonely
Count on me to be the one
That is gonna love you always, woe woe
When you're feeling sad and blue
I'll be there to see you through, so
Don't cry no more
I said don't cry, my darling

...

What a strange night.

I'm always surprised that the whole world isn't rattled to the core by the massive events going on in our minds when we consume these things...

You can be in Two places at once though. You can inhabit several dimensions simultaneously, I was here physically while simultaneously "there" in every other way.

Ok, enough time with my "crazy hat" on.

if you think you can fly, START FROM THE GROUND 

..I never understood why the hypothetical psychedelically stoned individual would always think they could fly and start trying from like 10 stories up, I mean, why not start from the ground? 

Ok, I need sleep, sorry guys.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 20, 2018, 09:05:41 AM
Every day I think I am finally going to be able to ignore Her she shows up looking more beautiful than ever...

I can't believe I didn't talk to Her today.

I wish she would just talk to me.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 20, 2018, 09:06:56 AM
Didn't see Her on Monday.

...and when I saw her today she looked incredible.

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 20, 2018, 09:18:24 AM
Her beautiful brunette hair was done, and she was wearing a black and white patterned scarf that made Her look gorgeous.

I had been planning on speaking with her this morning but was dumbstruck by her beauty and became nervous.

Its never going to happen unless she talks to me first...

I keep trying to ignore her, I keep thinking "its just adrenaline, oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin that's making you feel this way, just fight it!" Sadly, I can't fight my endogenous chemistry, and obviously I can't resist her beauty, charm, and admirable traits.

I guess I'm just going to have to quietly admire her, unless by some miracle she decides to talk to me.

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 20, 2018, 09:20:46 AM
The gorgeous brunette who rides from 26th street. I don't think will ever be over her. Which I suppose means that if she ever decides that she wants to give me a chance that will be here waiting for her.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 21, 2018, 09:00:31 AM
Yesterday was probably my best shot.

I did not see Her today, and because of the holidays I probably won't see Her until next week.

Yesterday would have been a good day. She Sat right across from me, looking amazing, and seemed as though she was waiting for me to say something to Her...

I'm An idiot. That would have been my best chance.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 21, 2018, 09:01:49 AM
I have been a slender sword
A drop in the air
A shining bright star
A letter amoung words
-6th century bard taliesin shamanic writing


such statements were for a long time seen as poetic bombast, But in more recent times they have been accepted as accounts of actual experiences, when a taliesin speaks of having "been" a sword, or a drop of rain or a star, he means that he has literally experienced what it means to be so completely at one with the things he sees and hears in such a way, that he feels as if he were indeed one of them.

-Mathews; shamanism bible
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 21, 2018, 09:03:55 AM
raindrops
Conscious-being intertwined and bound to the physical machine,Masquerading physicality through the banality of reality, unable to wake from this lucid dream.
by "intrepid_traveler
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 21, 2018, 09:16:12 AM
Since this is also a prose thread, I figured I should include a detailed piece of masterfully creative and novel thought generated by the master of prose, philosophic contemplation and speculation, Mr. Terence McKenna.

Fractal Soliton of Improbability; the demiurge; dual worlds and Greco-Mayans.
So, a few weeks ago I was meditating in my usual fashion, and I began to get this “new idea”, which was so weird that I immediately shifted into, “This is not the truth, this is not a transmission about the nature of reality. This is a plot for a science fiction novel that I should write!” I tried to hold that as my defence, that was my shield against the onslaught of this thing.

I’ve never been one for Atlantis, or Lemuria, all these invisible prehistoric lands and places that people enjoy so much, but I was told a very funny thing, which I will share with you. It’s a funny idea. Let’s see, how does it go? It has two versions, one of which speaks a scientific language, the other speaks a mythological language. So the scientific language goes something like this…

There’s something in the universe called a “Fractal Soliton of Improbability”. This means it’s a unique event, it only happens once in the lifetime of a universe. You can think of it as a wavelength with one wave; that’s why it’s called a soliton. These things move, not in ordinary three-dimensional space, but in some kind of much higher spatial manifold. And when they collide with a planet, or when one collides with a planet in a universe, the time-stream of that planet is divided, and two copies of that planet spring into existence, without either having any knowledge of it. It’s just something which happens. So, this voice was telling me that this had happened to the Earth, and that this was the secret that we were all striving to understand; that an event in the past had actually divided our time-stream, and that a twin of this planet had come into being in another dimension.

OK, so that’s the scientific explanation. So the mythological explanation was, that the universe is Gnostic. The universe is the creation of the Demiurge, not the highest expression of divinity, but a kind of demon, a fallen creature. This Demiurge was able to coax itself into being, actually incarnate into history as a human being. And when this happened, this was the mythological expression of the Fractal Soliton of Improbability. When it happened, the time-stream split. The time-splitting event had to do with the career of Christ, who was an extraordinary manifestation of energy in the historical time-stream; not to be confused with a Buddha or a Mohammed or a Zoroaster, who were great saints—this was something else. It was in some sense what it claimed to be—but in some sense.

So at the moment of—and you can choose either the Immaculate Conception or the Resurrection, depending on which side of the bed you got up on today—at that moment, the time-stream split, and this other place came into being, without having any awareness of it. They were identical at that moment, these two worlds.

What I forgot to say was, this event, the Fractal Soliton of Improbability, has this quantum-mechanical half-charge, so in one of the universes it happens, and in the other universe it doesn’t happen. So everything about these two worlds was the same, except in one of them the Immaculate Conception or the Resurrection had not taken place. Now, because Christ had no children, in the world in which he was absent, it was not a genetic line that was missing, it was an ideological line which never received expression. And consequently, as time passed, first decades, and then centuries, the absence of this particular intellectual influence in the world changed the world radically, in the following way: Greek science did not suffer the suppression that occurred with the conversion of Constantine; the Academies were not closed; the Hermetic knowledge was not repressed. Conversely, the Empire was stronger, and was able to repel the barbarian invasions of the 2nd to the 5th century, and mathematics, which had halted in our world at Diophantus, proceed through his disciple Hypatia to develop a calculus by AD 370. So that the millennium of Christian stasis that occurred in our world did not occur in that world.

As time passed, and engineering advances occurred, by around 850 they had ships that were able to cross the Atlantic Ocean. And they encountered the Mayan civilization reaching its fullest flower in Guatemala and in the Yucatan peninsula. In fact, in this vision I saw the Roman Emperor Cosmodorus the Fifth make a pilgrimage to Tikal in 920 to be present at the coronation of a king at the end of Baktun 8. Anyway, this Greco-Roman imperial culture immediately recognized the genius of the Mayans in mathematics and astronomy, and Europe was… transformed, into an amalgamation, a Greco-Mayan civilization, and this civilization continued to develop.

Now one of the influences which the Mayans brought into Europe around the year 950 was their extremely sophisticated psychopharmacopeia, and shamanism. And this mated with Neoplatonism and Hermeticism, so that rather than science developing as it developed in our world, a kind of magical, psychopharmacolytic technology of thought and understanding was what was developed over the centuries. And in later centuries, centuries before it happened in our world, they contacted the Orient, and the dynastic influence of the Sung poured itself into the creation of a global civilization. Such that, by around 1200 AD they were able to land on the moon, and create a cybernetic global civilization similar to the kind we have now.

They continued evolving, with all this psychotronic and shamanically-derived… well, by now you can imagine it was an unbelievably exotic and alien civilization compared to our own. The fruits of their psychedelic and psychoanalytic investigations into higher space was the discovery of our world. They found out what had happened. They figured it out, by studying dreams, and by making deep journeys into the psychedelic space, they were able to discover our sleeping unconscious, with its repository of the legacy of the Christian centuries under the reign of this Demiurgic ideology. And they conceived of the notion of saving us. And it has to do with this whole thing about the UFOs, and influencing dreams, and astral travelling… and the Other Side is actually the manifestation of this bizarre Greco-Mayan, postmodern star-faring civilization, trying to reach across the dimensions to save us from the momentum of our history, by making us aware of, first of all their existence, and also their technology, which is evolving toward a point where I think around the Mayan millennium, around 2012, we will flow past the time island, and the two time-streams will be rejoined. And we will make peace with this civilization that is now a thousand years more advanced than us, with this totally different cultural history, and this completely different take on reality.

So, this came to me in the space of about fifteen seconds…

[A discussion ends in a question about our destructiveness to plant ecologies versus what might have happened in the other world…]

They were developing and exploring technical options many hundreds of years ago, and they discovered the theoretics for nuclear fusion and fission, but they never used it. Until a few hundred years later, one of their great theoreticians—this was after they had discovered our time-stream—made the prediction that the physics of atomic explosions were such that they would cross the time-stream. And so they performed an experiment by detonating an atomic device in what is our year 1907. And this was the Tunguska event! And then, by monitoring the dreams of Siberian shamans, which they had in clear focus, they saw, “Aha! This explosion which we set off actually did occur in both time-streams.” And at that point, they became very interested in monitoring our time-stream, because they were picking up the dreams of a Swiss telegraph worker, who seemed to be pushing toward an unimaginable conclusion… So now there is a certain amount of urgency, because if we explode our atomic stockpiles, it will wreck the place that they call Home World. It’s not self-preservation, because they now have starflight, and encompass many systems, but preservation of Home World, which on the other side is a vast botanical and ecological preserve from pole to pole. It’s a sacred site of pilgrimage; it’s the home of the species, the Earth. And the notion that suddenly great parts of it will be blown apart by leakage from hyperspace of one of our atomic wars is impelling them now to attempt to open the doorway, and re-join the time-streams. We’ll be allowed a few years inside the botanical park to acclimate, and then most people will ship off for the stars, I imagine.
-Terence McKenna
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 23, 2018, 01:07:12 PM
Just when you think life can't get any stranger...

Last night I stayed at home and took MDMA with Ayela, Delilah, and Eliza.

We all gave thanks to have one another, and to be able to be there for one another and we were thankful that we were able love each other.

At least when we are together existence is beautiful, its as if all of the suffering, and and sadness, and hate, and all of the other horrible aspects of existence on earth seem to stop existing, and our space and time is filled with joy, and openness, and happiness, and love, and compassion. When we are together we can be ourselves, we can be open and true without ever worrying about criticism or judgement.

These girls are far more open and adventurous than myself in certain ways, yet I was never uncomfortable, they welcomed me into their expressions of love, and just as they freely and openly accepted me, I selflessly and lovingly accepted them, and fully gave myself to them for that given time.

...what an incredibly strange night. This house looks so normal from the outside, I doubt anybody would ever guess that its been the setting for some some truly bizarre psychedelic experimentation over the years, from shamans holding authentic ceremonies to psychedelic group sex and beyond, this house has been the setting to events that would probably never be believed if accurately recited.

I would gladly give up all of it, give up everything, just to have a chance with the girl from 26th that I have been enamored with...



Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 26, 2018, 09:20:09 AM
I'm not necessarily a misanthrope, though I do have many misanthropic tendencies. I would say I "love humanity, but loathe most individual humans"

Is it negative if I'm content existing only with the people I love? When I venture out into public it's a constant struggle to keep people the fuck away from me. I have no interest in interacting with anybody who hasn't "tuned in and turned on" for lack of a better phrase.

...I guess when it comes to ignoring those who only intend me harm, or those who clearly lack empathy and compassion, I'm doing myself a favor, but I keep thinking of that old Leary quote:


Timothy Leary:
“Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”. Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator (and the balding man who walks past your cubicle at work) are thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others…”

― Timothy Leary


...I'm worried that I might be ignoring some of "the others"

I mean, in my mind I have already found "the others", but I still worry about that individual out there who hasn't.

I was alone for a long time, not alone in the sense that there were no people around me, but alone in the sense that I felt like I couldn't relate to anything or anyone around me. I wasn't necessarily crestfallen with this concept, quite the opposite, most often I would find myself thinking "thank God I am not like them"...

Then for a while I thought that perhaps I could act as a catalyst in transforming others, the idea was simple enough, "give the psychedelics away". ...however all too often I would find that I could induce a peak experience for a person, but that was about it, people could have these experiences and within a matter of days revert back to their old jerk of a self. So I abandoned that method.

At this point, the only people I care about are the girls, appleseed (my chemistry teacher and spiritual guide), and our psychedelic family.

The outside world can say what they want about me, think what they want about me, and even try to brake me, however, at this point they are nothing more than an annoyance, to be tolerated for the times when I have to be around them, but never for a single second could I ever waste even the slightest amount of energy in worrying about these people's thoughts and opinions of me.

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 27, 2018, 10:00:41 AM
I actually miss Her.

Maybe she has vacation days, maybe Her schedule changed so that we Will not be running into one another anymore, who knows, but I haven't seen her since early last week.

Now I'm just surrounded by the people I'm trying to avoid.


I have frequently been having issues with individuals invading my space and intruding in on my sphere existence. I am a respectful and polite person, so of coarse I deploy all of the the tactics which someone with manners would use to keep unwanted interactions at a minimum, yet some people just don't get it.

hee roy kuay!

肏你祖宗十八代 (cào nǐ zǔ zōng shí bā dài)

I miss the mornings of seeing the beautiful brunette from 26th street.

I need to refocus on love.




Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 28, 2018, 09:55:04 AM
It's Wednesday.

I really hope the beautiful brunette girl from 26th street is just on vacation, but all and all its more likely that her schedule changed and that I won't be running into her anymore.

...now my morning is devoid of beauty. Her presence alone was enough to leave me feeling great all day.

...now on my morning journey its mostly just a bunch of creepy guys around that I refuse to even acknowledge. I get criticized a lot for it, but I can't stand males, I find nearly the entire gender to be completely repulsive. Even today on the bus some guy sat in a seat by me and I had to get up and move, the male presence induces and intense revulsion and annoyance in myself, its almost torture for me to be around males. Opposites attract, I guess that's how I rationalize it, think of holding to magnets, when opposite charges interact the magnets are drawn together, when the same charges interact the magnets repel each other. Like a magnet I'm drawn to my opposite, females, and repulsed by the similar, males.

In the end I guess these people I encounter on my mourning commute are mere annoyances. Though recently I have been doing far better at dealing with people who I don't necessarily like. I've been happier and feeling better than ever. I can thank my girls for that.

Ayela, Delilah, Eliza, and Melanie have changed my life. I'm still not sure if it was the psychedelic compounds or the group sex while we were under the influence, but ill never be the same. Psychedelics dissolves boundaries and dissolve ego, they dissolve the individual. Now, group sex also dissolves boundaries and dissolves ego, and when combined the experience is indescribable. All boundaries are dissolved, the boundaries between yourself and your partners, the boundaries between waking and dreaming, the boundaries between life and death, and so on.

These girls are far more open and adventurous than myself, specially in terms of sexuality, yet there was never any point where I was uncomfortable. Its not just constant sex, a good deal of the time me and the girls are naked and snuggled up while high on psychedelics, and at times that can turn into sex, sometimes between only two of us, sometimes the whole group. Its a really natural flow of feeling and physicality, nothing is forced, its a really Taoist like style love making.

Its also spiritual in many ways, I was reminded of my karmamudra and tantric yoga and meditation practices only this was with 4 girls instead of one.

...don't get me wrong, I felt as though I had died and gone to heaven, I felt like I was the luckiest man to ever walk on this earth, and I'm still riding an ecstatic and euphoric high from the experience.... ...however, it wasnt a one time thing, these girls do this a few times every few months, and I'm always invited. I actually have some novel psychedelic aphrodisiacs that I can't wait to start experimenting with, as I know the girls will really love these compounds.

I can die happy now, will say that much.

I had been really frustrated in the fields of love and sex, and these girls completely fixed everything, I actually don't think that I will ever be the same.

One of these girls produces, stars in, and sells female erotica from her webcam, two of these girls are a couple, and another of these girls is a meditation instructor who is an expert in tantric and karmamudra practices as well as kama-sutra, and so on... and aside from all of this, as I said, these girls are all INCREDIBLY open and adventurous when it comes to sexuality. People always assume that the male would be the "pervert", when in this case these girls are far more "perverted" than I could ever be.

I owe these girls more than they will ever know, seriously, they changed my life. ...and all it took was my psychedelics and their good loving. ...as well as their friendship, advice, support, and encouragement. Sexuality was the one area that I was never able to fully explore in a psychedelic regard, at least not to the extent that I can with these girls, which is just another reason why I am so grateful to these girls, and why I would do anything for them, I feel like I owe them, even though they don't see it that way.

One downside is that I can't discuss these things, I mean aside from the fact that nobody would believe me I would be judged and criticized, its just not worth it. I guess that's why I have to type here, its the only way I have of venting my excitement.

Another downside is that I'm looking to be in a monogamous relationship with a nice girl that I want to start a family with, and the whole "psychedelic sex with multiple women" deal is a guaranteed way to scare off a potential wife.

Ultimately it's in my best interest to just go about my life without ever saying anything about me and the girls activities.

I'm still looking for a monogamous relationship, I want to find a single girl that I can give all my love to and start a family with, and when I find this girl the only sex I will be having will be with her (unless she wants to bring other girls into it).

I wish I would have said something to the beautiful brunette girl from 26th while she was still around. I REALLY hope she is just on vacation, though for some reason I get the feeling that she may be on a New schedule, and that I won't be graced by her presence again.

...if it turns out that she was just on vacation, and I do see her again, I'm going to just say "fuck it" and talk to her...
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on November 28, 2018, 11:01:31 PM
!
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 29, 2018, 09:05:09 AM
Oh, wow, were you actually reading these?

...pretty weird stuff, huh?

So you can understand why this is the only place that I have said anything about it. Nobody in my real life except the girls really knows.

... though my neighbours and enemies have started referring to me as "Charlie" as in "Charlie Manson" simply because they only see me with big a group of "hippie" girls or by myself... I find it pretty offensive, seriously, I'm not leading anything, if anything these girls are leading me, but whatever, it's really not important.

Like "lucid optics" said "represent yourself not your enemies and demons"

In better news I saw the girl from 26th today! It made my morning!
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on November 29, 2018, 11:19:42 PM
it's all better news.
just takes a bit of joy to transform experience
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 30, 2018, 09:06:05 AM
Yeah, it's strange how I enjoy having the brunette from 26th around, even if I'm not interacting with her.

I saw her again today. As always it doesn't seem like she is ever going to say anything to me.

I think I like it when she is around because then at least the potential that we will interact exists, well, that and I just feel warm and comfortable around her.

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on November 30, 2018, 09:08:09 AM
...though I still feel I have been fully transformed recently.

I'm not sure if it was the psychedelic drugs or the sex with four girls simultaneously while I was on the psychedelic drugs, but I'm definitely not the same, all for the better I might add.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: cenacle on December 01, 2018, 12:15:33 AM
sex with four girls while tripping would do something deep to anyone. good on ya, mate. sounds like you needed a lot of what you got. hope it was fun for all!
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 01, 2018, 11:36:08 AM
It was as if I was Dionysus and the girls were the maenads who had just finished running naked through the hills euphoric, intoxicated and sex crazed, to find Dionysus waiting for them, and in their frenzied state they nearly tore Dionysus to pieces during the wild orgiastic love making that ensued.

However...The girls did know that I had been struggling romantically and that I had been somewhat frustrated sexually and I'm sure that to some degree they saw it as giving me a gift that I badly needed.

...I'm built athletically, I'm skinny but incredibly muscular, yet those girl's wore me out, it feels like I did ten billion sit-ups, my stomach muscles ache every time I move, or cough, or laugh. I haven't had a workout that left me feeling sore in years...

In all seriousness, if I knew anybody was reading these posts I never would have said anything about it.

I'm looking for a monogamous relationship, I want to find a nice girl that I can put all of my love and energy into and who I can dedicate myself to fully. I want to start a family with a girl that I truly love and who I can grow old with. ...and talking about "psychedelic orgiastic sexual experiences" really doesn't help me in that area, which is understandable.

I haven't told anybody in my real life. I mean, people know that me and the girls are probably up to some pretty weird stuff, but I still don't feel like going around telling people about these things is going to do me any favors.

...I'm still riding a euphoric high from that night, and I had to say something somewhere, I was just hoping that nobody would read it.

I still have an incredible attraction to this gorgeous brunette girl from 26th street, and I want to focus on her. She is perfect. Most girls have trouble understanding the difference between "sexy" and "slutty", but this girl is naturally sexy while just being herself. Plus, she is responsible, she is hard working, and she has a good head on her shoulders, so aside from being the most incredibly gorgeous and amazing beautiful girl that I have ever encountered, she is also respectable and posses many admirable traits. I always feel warm and comfortable around her, and I would give anything just to have a chance with her.


Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 01, 2018, 11:47:53 AM
Though if you have never explored sexuality on psychedelics I highly recommend it.

I thought that I knew the full potentials of the sexual experience before I started exploring sexuality and psychedelics with some of my closest female friends, and wow, it's clear now that I knew nothing.

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 01, 2018, 11:48:36 AM
And at the centre of that impulse is the shaman: stoned, intoxicated on plants, speaking with the spirit helpers, dancing in the moonlight, and vivifying and invoking a world of conscious, living mystery. That’s what the world is. The world is not an unsolved problem for scientists or sociologists. The world is a living mystery: our birth, our death, our being in the moment – these are mysteries. They are doorways opening on to unimaginable vistas of self-exploration, empowerment and hope for the human enterprise. And our culture has killed that, taken it away from us, made us consumers of shoddy products and shoddier ideals. We have to get away from that; and the way to get away from it is by a return to the authentic experience of the body – and that means sexually empowering ourselves, and it means getting loaded, exploring the mind as a tool for personal and social transformation. -terence McKenna
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 01, 2018, 11:50:03 AM
and the way to get away from it is by a return to the authentic experience of the body – and that means sexually empowering ourselves, and it means getting loaded, exploring the mind as a tool for personal and social transformation. -terence McKenna
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 01, 2018, 11:51:32 AM
The society is trying to cure itself by an archaic revival, by a reversion to archaic values. So when I see people manifesting sexual ambiguity, or scarifying themselves, or showing a lot of flesh, or dancing to syncopated music, or getting loaded, or violating ordinary canons of sexual behaviour, I applaud all of this; because it’s an impulse to return to what is felt by the body – what is authentic, what is archaic – and when you tease apart these archaic impulses, at the very centre of all these impulses is the desire to return to a world of magical empowerment of feeling. -terence McKenna
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: cenacle on December 02, 2018, 09:24:23 PM
I still have an incredible attraction to this gorgeous brunette girl from 26th street, and I want to focus on her. She is perfect. Most girls have trouble understanding the difference between "sexy" and "slutty", but this girl is naturally sexy while just being herself. Plus, she is responsible, she is hard working, and she has a good head on her shoulders, so aside from being the most incredibly gorgeous and amazing beautiful girl that I have ever encountered, she is also respectable and posses many admirable traits. I always feel warm and comfortable around her, and I would give anything just to have a chance with her.

If you're still differentiating among girls as "sexy" or "slutty," you have a long way to go. But doesn't everyone.

Every girl is sexy and beautiful. Some just lose sight of that because of the worse aspects of this world. What they think the world demands for them to be loved. Guys have their own struggles too, of course.

And, yes, people read posts here :)
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 03, 2018, 11:24:18 AM
I can understand how the "sexy" and "slutty" could be taken in an offensive manner, but if you actually knew me and my views on females I'm sure you would have taken the statement as intended.

I was thinking more along the lines that a girl doesn't have to look like a Barbie-doll or a pron-star to be considered sexy, and that not all guys find a hyper-sexualized and objectified appearance to be attractive.

I was saying that this girl was naturally attractive while remaining herself, and that even though she doesn't fit the stereotypical ideal of what modern culture considers sexy, and even though she wasn't wearing skimpy clothing or projecting a hyper-sexualized image, that to me she was far more sexy than that stereotypical hyper-sexual ideal anyway.

I wasn't trying to judge females who prefer a sexualized fashion, and I wasn't trying to say that women are not beautiful.



...I'm sure people read posts here, its just for some reason I figured that nobody cared about anything that I had to write, and that so long as everything I write was confined to a single thread that it would simply be ignored.

I mean, recently I have been working with psychedelics in relation to sexuality. I never fully was able to explore this aspect of psychedelia in the past, and to be honest I probably wouldn't have been ready when I was younger, but now that I am grown and mature and now that I have a group a girls that I love and trust, and who are incredibly experienced in when it comes to sexuality, specially in relation to psychedelics, the time for this exploration is perfect. However, as its obvious that I am going to be misjudged or criticized, I do my best to NOT talk about this stuff unless its with an appropriate audience.

In the link below you can somewhat get an idea of what these psychedelic group love events are really like, only in our situation its only me and four girls, no strangers allowed, we all love and trust each other, we are all taking entactogenic/aphrodisiac psychedelics and we are not clothed and will engage in sexual activity, but its basically the same type of people and vibe as those featured in the link below.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HhGs6slruSY

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DHhGs6slruSY&ved=2ahUKEwiV_eKPg4TfAhVHz1QKHeHnD-oQwqsBMAF6BAgMEAg&usg=AOvVaw0eYfSvfJUburdKVKTqPYiR

(For some reason it only let's me copy and paste the mobile YouTube url with the "m" in it, and that it doesn't work for everybody, if it doesn't work for you go to YouTube, it is titled "Dawg's Cuddle Party" CadetMPLSHappy 21,141 views)


We actually have "cuddle parties" as well. Honestly, I think everybody should do this, its great for building empathy and connecting with others, it helps remind us that we can love anybody as they were our family.

As a feminist I felt I had to explain, at least in regards to how you responded to that comment.

When I said I wouldn't have posted about me and the girls if I knew people were reading this its because I know that the majority of people will never understand. I know that most people don't have 3 or 4 close friends who they love and trust and who they can explore these things with, and I know that when it comes to sexuality and psychedelics that people usually misinterpret it as senseless hedonistic fucking, you really cant explain to them the empathy, love, oneness, beauty, connection and transformation that composes the core of these experiences. Psychedelic sexuality is selfless and centered on love, closeness, oneness, transformation, and sublime ecstasy, its the exact opposite of dirty, hedonistic, and pointless fucking.

Regardless, I would prefer to keep the lovemaking and psychedelic taking explorations between me and the girls private.

After it happened I was euphoric, I'm still euphoric from it, but just after it happened I had to say something, I was hoping that I could vent my excitement here and that pretty much nobody would see it.

I suppose you are free to think about it what you want, though I was hoping that if anywhere I could get some understanding here.

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on December 03, 2018, 11:31:42 PM
intrepid, considering that this is your poetry/prose thread, why not keep it on topic? Start a new thread, on another forum here at spirit plants, to keep on exploring other topics
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 04, 2018, 06:06:56 AM
I suppose I could do that, though I honestly prefer to keep all my posting confined to a single thread on a single site.

I tried starting discussions
http://www.spiritplants.org/forums/the-medicine-lodge/why-lsd-lasts-12-hours/msg34766/#msg34766

http://www.spiritplants.org/forums/the-medicine-lodge/neural-plasticity-and-psychedelics/msg34765/#msg34765

http://www.spiritplants.org/forums/the-medicine-lodge/serotonergic-psychedelics-and-personality-change/msg34767/#msg34767

http://www.spiritplants.org/forums/the-medicine-lodge/psychedelic-drug-use-associated-with-reduced-partner-violence-in-men/msg34768/#msg34768

Yet nobody responded, and to be honest the available topics already have a billion responses or are uninteresting.

...and I'm sure that my posting here still qualifies as prose.


I don't mind responding, if someone misinterpreted my writing surely I have a right to respond, no? I wanted to clarify what I was saying, I was trying to explain how some girls feel they need to look like Barbie-dolls or "porn stars" to be considered sexy, and that this is absolutely not the case, these girls are beautiful exactly how they are.

Any way, maybe change the name of the thread to "intrepid_traveler's bullshit thread" or something more fitting.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 04, 2018, 06:15:05 AM
This is the candy for this weekend.

The pills are 2C-B, 5-meo-dipt, and a small portion is MDMA. I pressed a few hundred of these on a single pill press for Halloween, but because they were more than just MDMA it seemed nobody wanted to compulsively re-dose, which I saw as a good thing, though it did leave me with a surplus of these pills...

The mushrooms are golden-teachers (stropharia cubensis) but there's only 14g in that bag, so I'm getting more.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 04, 2018, 08:57:04 AM
I've always seen my daily ramblings as similar to the amphetamine fueled prose of Jack Kerouac.

Watching Jack unroll what looks like a sheet of paper towels but which is in fact the continuous piece of paper he typed his book on, and jacks style of prose, all reminds me of the daily rants and ramblings I post here...

I think it is prose.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 04, 2018, 09:20:47 AM
Just before Halloween I purchased the bit-coins, I had everything set up. The foxy was coming from Japan, and was labeled "ゴメオ". The 2c-b and MDMA were ordered through a different supplier.

I nervously waited for the package to arrive, "did customs raid my stash?" I wondered. "I am going to get busted?"
In the end the package arrived without issue. The product was hidden in a headphones package which was stuffed with this bubble-wrap nonsense. It took me a while to actually find the stuff, for a while I thought I had just spent a ton of money on some cheap headphones.

After sorting the stuff, weighing out the ratios, and going to work with the single pill press, I had finally obtained my final product. Beautiful, white, non-stamped pills.

When I first met Melanie she would describe all of the fun things she wanted to try out "if she could only get the psychedelics", and being that she was an incredibly pretty girl that I really liked I foolishly blurted out
 "I can easily get whatever you want".
'Reallyyy?" She replied.
At that point I had pretty much trapped myself into making it happen, so I started shopping for product that night.

In the mean time I still had a good deal of WoW blotter LSD, I thought I had more than I could ever eat and was bent on giving most of it away, until I met Melanie, now all of that LSD is reserved for me and her, and her friends, and now that we have call these fund things to do with it it seems like there's never enough.

A few years back I mastered pybop condensation of lysergic acid with diethylamine, and to this day its the most worthwhile and ultimately valuable thing that I had ever learned, and I thank God every day that I had background in chemistry enough to master the synthesis fairly quickly. Casey Hardison's pybop notes were helpful, but it was ultimately David E. Nichols technique that I ended up pilfering for my synthesis.

These compounds are catalysts to love, empathy, understanding and gnosis, they seem to be able to temporarily dissolve our programming, and with it our neuroses and baggage. They allow us to see that we are all connected...

Here is an example of connection between humans which we deny: the other day I was on the bus, and I looked over at a pretty girl in the car next to me, and as I looked at her she instantly turned and looked back at me. It was as if she could 'feel" my eyes on here, or as if I was able to reach out and tap her on the shoulder just by looking at her. We all experience this, and we know it can't be chemical or pheromones or anything like that. ...to me it seems to imply that we are all connected in ways which we refuse to acknowledge...

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 05, 2018, 09:08:49 AM
For as much as some people claim to not be stalking me online, and even impersonating me online, everything I post really seems to get through.

For example: yesterday I was at the bus stop and I saw this girl who I dislike headed to the same stop, so I walked about 15 feet up the road to wait for the bus just so I wouldn't have to talk to her. So, she obviously saw me walking away when she walked up, and in the past she has seen me go to the next bus stop down just to avoid her, so it should be clear that I want her to stay away from me, yet she decides to walk up to me and start talking. Who sees someone politely avoid them and then walks up to talk to them? I mean, she actually had to go pretty far out of her way to bother me, seriously, what's this girls deal?

Well, aside from having to deal with the "creepy queen" at the bus stop the other day things have been going well. When I saw the "creepy queen" today she just shuffled passed me, thank God, hopefully she figured it out and I won't have to out right tell her to stay away from me...
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 05, 2018, 09:36:26 AM
I saw the girl from 26th Today and I'm happy to report that I felt almost nothing! I still think she is beautiful and has a good heart and soul, but I no longer have any urge to interact with her or be romantically involved with her.

My life changed when I met Melanie. Before Melanie my life was on a certain track and headed in a certain direction, and at that point the girl from 26th would have been perfect for me, but then I met Melanie and everything changed, my goals and priorities were rearranged, and at this point the girl from 26th couldn't possibly fit into my life, and strangely enough, I don't want her to anymore. Its as if all the desire to have her as a partner vanished completely!

Today I didn't even notice she was there until I was about to leave, and when I did look at her it was a totally different feeling, I still felt love for her, but it was more of a platonic compassion than romantic love. It was great not feeling nervous or wanting to talk to her, it was great knowing that if she did talk to me at this point it really wouldn't matter, my interest in that area has passed, and now I barely notice when she is around.

Time has specific properties, and within those properties lay specific opportunities, if the girl from 26th would have talked to me a few weeks ago I would now be fully devoted to her and centering my life around doing everything that I possibly could for her and doing everything possible to be keeping her happy, yet, too much time had passed and the situation had changed drastically to a point where a connection would be impossible.

Its funny to think how different things could have been. You know? If the right person were to talk to you at the right time it could change everything. Yet if that same person talked to you at a different time it would have absolutely no impact at all.

Its nice to think about all that I could have done for the girl from 26th, I know I could have made her beyond happy and given her an amazing life... but clearly she wasn't interested, and moving on and just letting it go was always the best option.

Melanie changed my life in ways that I can't even describe, and will give thanks to her and tell the world that I love her every day. I love you Melanie, as well as Eliza, Delilah and ayela, if others could only understand all the love that I have found and the world of happiness that you girls bring to me...

Any way, I can't thank you enough! Somehow you knew exactly what was needed for me, and what was needed to get life moving, ill never be the same. You girls are a bright and warm light in a cold and dark universe, you are goddesses in your own right and are a shining example of all that makes life beautiful. I can't even express my absolute gratitude, thanks and gratefulness for all that you have done, and I feel that I will be forever in your debt. Any way, I know that there's a time and a place for all the sentimental praise, and that you girls don't log into this account often, but I hope that when you read this it brings a smile to your face and reminds you that I am fully yours.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 06, 2018, 10:44:16 AM
Another beautiful day that I am thankful to be alive.

I saw the girl from 26th today, and again, I almost didn't even notice that she was there. I still like her, and I would still give her a chance, but I am also fully happy if nothing ever happens there, and I'm surly not going to make anything happen there, its up to her and her alone.

Though if I were to date the girl from 26th I would have to stop seeing my girls, which is another reason why it has to be her choice, I'm not going to give up all that I have unless I know she really wants me.

I don't think the girl from 26th could ever get along with my girls...

Two of my girls star in, produce, and distribute all female erotica from the house. Its always made from the safety of the house, and its usually just solo stuff from the webcam or lesbian group sex, so these girls are incredibly open and adventurous sexually. It actually took me a while to get used to, but it really doesn't bother me any more. I actually think its pretty cool that they are making erotica that is 100% female produced and that only stars females, and I think its awesome that only females are getting any money from it. The girls love it, I mean, they are already sex fanatics who don't mind showing off their bodies, so they feel it's empowering to be able to get paid for it, and I fully support them.

Then there is Melanie and ayela who are my sweet little darling hippie chicks, they are really not into the the whole female erotica thing, though they are just as open and adventurous sexually, the girl from 26th might actually be able to get along with these girls, but who knows.

Regardless, I'm pretty sure I would have to give up my friends if I were to have a chance with the girl from 26th. So, again, it has to be her choice.

I never had a chance to explore psychedelics and sexuality in the past. I had explored psychedelics in relation to spirituality, in relation to creativity and art, in relation to gaining gnosis and understanding life and death, in relation to meditation and yoga, and in relation to just about every other area, yet when it came to sexual psychedelic exploration I never had the proper opportunity until recently. So I have been incredibly happy to have been given this opportunity and to have been given this opportunity with some of the most beautiful, intelligent, creative and special girls that I have ever met, not to mention that these girls are mind-blowing in bed, and are always showing me some new tricks and improving my performance. I want to fully explore sex with psychedelics, and I want to keep doing it with the same four girls, the only thing that would make me want to stop is finding a girl to begin a monogamous relationship with.

Ultimately I want a nice girl to settle down and start a family with, and ill give up my activities with the girls the instant that happens.

This is why I decided that if the girl from 26th wants me, and if she makes the effort to get me (though it really wouldn't take much effort, she would just have to say "hello, you are mine now" and that's how things would be) then I would be happy to be hers, I would stop seeing the girls and devote myself fully to her and only her, but she has to make the effort. I'm not going to force the situation, and I'm not going to initiate the situation. If she comes and claims me I will be hers and only hers, if not I will keep seeing my girls until I find a nice girl that I can settle down and start a family with.

Still, another beautiful day where I am loving life.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: cenacle on December 06, 2018, 11:38:38 AM
"Dawg's Cuddle Party" video. Funny one. Couldn't tell if it was some kind of staged for film event. Did anyone offer to cuddle the camera-person?
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 06, 2018, 04:59:00 PM
"Dawg's Cuddle Party" video. Funny one. Couldn't tell if it was some kind of staged for film event. Did anyone offer to cuddle the camera-person?

I really don't think much of it was staged.

That clip is from "an idiot abroad", the point of the show is basically to make the host Carl as uncomfortable as possible for laughs, so I'm sure the producers told those people to really pick at poor Carl. ...but other than that I can't imagine that much was staged.

Hmm... if I was the camera man I would have wanted to participate.

I'm not fearful of straying out of my comfort zone, and I truly enjoy and embrace new and novel experiences. As long as the proposed experience is positive and doesn't harm anyone or anything then in most cases I would probably give it a try. I've participated in meditation groups, I've done various forms of yoga, I've experimented with brainwave entrainment through isochronic tones and binaural beats, I've worked with mindmachines*, dreamachines, I've done shamanic drumming and chanting, I've taken entheogenic plants and psychedelic compounds, and yes, I've participated in cuddle parties...

It all comes down to exploring the full potential of body and mind. There are experiences one can have in the human body which most would never predict would even be possible.

For myself, the psychedelic experience has been so thoroughly integrated into my life-stream that its difficult for me to imagine that there are some people out there who have never had this experience. It's as if there is a major section of human potential and human perception that most will never even come close to knowing. ...and his has always seemed odd to me.

* https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mind_machine
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 06, 2018, 08:54:22 PM
Eliza tells me not to ever give the slightest amount of trust to the girl from 26th street, she says I should stay away from her. She said just because she May have a good heart at her core doesn't mean that she has a good head on her shoulders. Eliza tells me that she has a good deal of cruelty in her, and that she is very aware of me, and that her intentions are bad. Eliza says she's confused and and has no sympathy at all for me, and since her views are distorted she can justify doing horrible things and still feel that she was in the right. Eliza says that the girl from 26th knows exactly who I am, and that if I knew her means of knowing who I am and if I knew some of the things she has done that I would know to stay away from her.

Eliza is never wrong about these things, and this morning I had Eliza ride the bus with me, she sat near the back of the bus with her hood pretty much over her face looking like she was almost sleeping. She wanted to see this girl and get a 'read" on her, and it turns out that Eliza knows who she is, and as you saw above she had nothing good to say about her. Eliza didn't say that she directly knew her, but she knows who she is.

Bummer, in another life we could have made a great couple. I can't imagine who or what would poison this girl on me, and Eliza didn't say very much, she mostly just told me to stay away from her and that under no circumstances should I trust her, she says I shouldn't even sit near her. She says not to post anything online about her either and she gave me the impression that this girl was well aware of all I had written, but again, Eliza didn't want to say much.

Eliza knows everybody and has been everywhere, and I know she knows more than she was telling me at that moment, its usually for my own good when she holds things back from me, she knows that timing can mean everything, and that if I play my cards right I can come out on top of this thing.

Eliza very rarely says negative things about anybody, so when she does I tend to listen.

I don't always just listen to Eliza, but I'm definitely going to keep all of that in mind.

I can't think of any reason why Eliza would warn me about this girl unless it was justified...

Ill give the girl from 26th the benefit of the doubt for now, but eliza's whole reaction was really not what I expected.


Such a strange day...
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 06, 2018, 09:21:30 PM
My enemies are weak right now, and have been resorting to desperate tactics, and defeat for them is certian, for I have truth on my side and the grace of God at my back, and all they have is slander, and a fickle mistress named luck.

Well, they also have friends who will willingly and gladly believe made up little stories and lies just because it suits their interests. I think these people are terrified that if the truth ever did come out that everybody would like me and everybody would hate them you would not believe the time and effort these people spend trying to make me look bad, I mean, seriously, it must take up a huge portion of their life. Its dedication on an outrageous level, and must dominate these people's minds. All they can think about is me, its pretty sick.

I've never seen anybody put so much effort into trying to make others think that someone was a homosexual, which speaks to the intelligence and maturity of these people, and mean its outrageous how much effort is extended on that one area, even if I were gay how is that an insult? Its 2018 not 1956, convincing people that I'm gay isn't going to get me hung by the neck in town square, and honestly it Bentsen hurt my business with the ladies, but whatever, it's their waste if a life.

... they know that if others liked me that these same others would realize how fake they were and not like them. So, just like you would expect people who live in a fantasy dream land rather than reality would do, they created lies, rumours, and hoaxes to try to make me look bad and accept them as fact, coming out the truth and the real world for their little fantasies.

These people will write some really sick things when impersonating me, and it made me think, these people have to be sick in the head just to think of this stuff, and that in reality those are their true thoughts...I could never think of those things, you would have to be sick to even generate such ideas, so while everybody is sitting around freaked out at me because of the lies they just told them, its really them that everybody should have those feelings for, they are sitting right next to horrible, disgusting, sick and perverted people while not even knowing it. Do you think if these people knew that it was really their friends words and actions and that it was all the creation of their friends minds that they would still be friends with them? The answer should be no, but sadly these people live in a fantasy, they would rather believe horrible lies about me when they know the truth is that kts their own friends who are sick and fucked up.

Whew, that felt good to vent. I went on that same rant on a site that some of these people post on and was instantly banned, which means I hit a sore nerve, I was getting to the truth of the matter, and I was doing so publicly.

.... They can't stand the thought of others being my friend because they feel so inferior, and they know others would realize how fake and full of shit that they had always been.

These people are motivated for all the reasons below as far as I can tell, but rather than talking about my faults they are simply making faults up, they even go as far as impersonating me, regardless, the excerpt below very clearly outlines their motivation,

... they will tell people "he doesn't know what he is talking about" if they don't buy that they say "he is crazy" if they don't buy that they say "he is homosexual" and if the people still don't think poorly of me they will impersonate me,any way, below describes part of their motivations:
Quote
Another situation in which we speak about others’ faults is when we’re angry with them. Here we may talk about their faults for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it’s to win other people over to our side. "If I tell these other people about the argument Bob and I had and convince them that he is wrong and I’m right before Bob can tell them about the argument, then they’ll side with me." Underlying that is the thought, "If others think I’m right, then I must be." It’s a weak attempt to convince ourselves we’re okay when we haven’t spent the time honestly evaluating our own motivations and actions.

At other times, we may talk about others’ faults because we’re jealous of them. We want to be respected and appreciated as much as they are. In the back of our minds, there’s the thought, "If others see the bad qualities of the people I think are better than me, then instead of honoring and helping them, they’ll praise and assist me." Or we think, "If the boss thinks that person is unqualified, she’ll promote me instead." Does this strategy win others’ respect and appreciation? Hardly.

Some people "psychoanalyze" others, using their half-baked knowledge of pop psychology to put someone down. Comments such as "he’s borderline" or "she’s paranoid" make it sound as if we have authoritative insight into someone’s internal workings, when in reality we disdain their faults because our ego was affronted. Casually psychoanalyzing others can be especially harmful, for it may unfairly cause a third party to be biased or suspicious.
http://thubtenchodron.org/2011/06/harmonious-speech/


 they live in a fantasy dream land that has no connection to the real world, they believe their own lies as fact and ignore reality, they choose to accepted fairy tales and made up little rumours and stories as their "real" world. Some day they are going to have to come out of their fantasy little dream world and face reality and accept the the truth.

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 06, 2018, 09:23:50 PM
Ok, car ride is over and my brain hurts from all that typing...
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 07, 2018, 09:58:03 AM
Another beautiful day that I am grateful to be alive and well.

...life would be perfect if I could only eliminate the influence of my enemies.

Day by day I get closer to bringing the truth to light.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 08, 2018, 10:13:06 AM
I spent a little time on the mountain,
I spent a little time on the hill,
I heard some say "Better run away",
Others say "Better stand still".

Now I don't know, but I been told
It's hard to run with the weight of gold,
Other hand I have heard it said,
It's just as hard with the weight of lead.
[/u]
-grateful dead ; new speedway boogie
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on December 08, 2018, 10:53:45 PM
good to listen to the Dead. clears the head
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 11, 2018, 09:19:56 AM
The dead's lyrics are full of incredibly valuable wisdom that one almost has to live their way into understanding...

I think that's part of the beauty of Robert Hunter and John Perry Barlow's collaboration efforts in producing the words to these songs, this is real poetry presented in jam band format.

The dead's music is there to ease our pain, to give us guidance and advice, and to give us wisdom, love, and community.

Regardless, the dead are so much more than a rock and roll band.

Its like the African parable of the blind men and the elephant, everybody has a different idea of exactly what that thing was. ...and jerry meant it to be that way, jerry Said that "when you leave something undefined it becomes everything", so it makes sense that nobody ever attempted to place a set definition of what the dead was, and when I say the dead I'm not just talking about the band, I'm talking about the ever moving, ever changing and constantly evolving community and culture as well as the band.

A dead show is going to be reassuringly familiar and refreshingly new every time it's experienced. All of the things that you recognize as being part of the dead show experience are still in place, yet it's also very clear that things had managed to change, grow, and evolve into something novel, new and beautiful that has seemed to incorporate itself right into the woodwork of the familiar.

The psychedelic experience itself tends to be that way as well, it's "reassuringly familiar, and refreshingly new" every time it's experienced. The familiar signposts of a psychedelic experience are still there, yet somehow you always encounter something completely new and unexpected each time. Every time you think you have seen it all, and that there will be no more surprises, the thing manages to conjure up something you never could have predicted or imagined.

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 11, 2018, 09:44:01 AM
I think I have discerned the reason why psychedelic sexuality is so misunderstood.

Most can't differentiate the difference between true eros and the devalued perversion of eros which has been disseminated to the masses and programmed into the individual through various means.

So while I am talking about eros, oneness, love, ecstasy, and the most sacred and spiritual aspects of sexuality, all most can think about is filth for filth's sake. ...then when you start talking about sex with multiple partners or orgiastic sexuality people really start becoming uncomfortable.

It seems most can't differentiate "eros" from "being horny", and furthermore only understand sexuality in a very shallow, basic, and utilitarian form.

Most people's sex is very ego centered, its a rush to an orgasm and seems to be fully focused on self, even the pleasure given to their partners is for some self gratifying purpose.

...if you need a cigarette after sex your probably not doing it right.


Any way, I'm still exploring psychedelic sexuality with my friends Melanie, ayela, Delilah, and Eliza. I think since we have been incorporating spiritual aspects into our group sexuality it has managed to reach deeper levels. I'm reminded of tantric yoga and karmamudra practices, only with several girls instead of one. Sometimes we can reach pretty intense spiritual/sexual states without even using the MDMA, 2c-B, 5-meo-dipt, or LSD as catalysts.

I still think LSD is one of the best compounds for orgiastic sexuality.

Any way, below is an excerpt where McKenna briefly outlines eros:
Quote
Eros and the Eschaton, these are the two areas that I think compromise the old paradigm and give permission to hope and strangely neither of these words is that well known, which gives you a measure of how completely the dominator position has squelched,subverted, and down played any opposition to its world view.

Eros we know about in some kind of devalued schticky kind of glitzy waybecause we get it in the eroticization of media, and society, but really what eros means in the Greek sense is a kind of unity of nature a kind of all pervasive order that bridges one ontological level to another. -terence McKenna
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 13, 2018, 09:06:59 AM
Mind of psilocybin
by Joey Iaquinto (lucid optics)

Observe and interpret
Up from the core to the surface

We are tenuous flicks of scintillation
Given an invitation to take a position in this pulsation

Life is death's vacation
As a child I was a vagrant
Learned every home held it's own fragrance
Differing versions of sacred decorate each person's faces
They complicate the basics till the common ground is evasiveness

Is it strange
Who takes the cake weighs most?
And swallows hope of the masses
To live lavishly
Lay low

Found our way around this molecule
If we can scrape by in solitude
We'll climb grape vines when all of you
Shape this world how you wanted to

I'd like to eat well
And to Keep companions closer than the common recluse
spewing seclusion in conclusion


Good leaders are no different than their followers
However elitists breed the fetus like it's Jesus...
Fucking... christ!
Dictated its life
Without realizing that your mind is yours for finding
Close your eyes and dive in privacy

We treat each other like garbage
Are we mimicking our surroundings?
Are we parrots with what we found
Or parasitic?
Killing our grounding

Astound I wither toward the grave
My fire flickers
As this unrelenting winter turns fingers to decrepit splinters
My voice is in different locations
I'm a nuetrino to lucid adjacent
Communicating statements without leaving my current placement

Listen:
Even when your will to be awake plummets and breaks
Don't be so distant and faceless
Just perforate the stasis

And represent yourself
Not your enemies and demons
Represent yourself
Not your enemies and demons]


It can be easy to grudge on autopilot for awhile
But you can probably cut some slack to people when
They can't make you smile


Free yourself from your own grip
Start to make some of your own shit
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 13, 2018, 10:04:35 AM
The first night I met Melanie we had both been at a small get together. Most of the people there were on one psychedelic or another, and on that particular night myself and Melanie had both been taking rather high doses of LSD.

I was incredibly intoxicated on LSD and wanted to have a minute to myself, so I found what I thought was an empty room and locked the door behind me. I then sat down near the door, still never thinking to turn on the lights. The room was pitch dark. I had just started to relax thinking that I had finally found some space where I could be alone, when I heard a small sneeze, I must have nearly jumped through the roof, I damn near had a heart attack, and let out a loud yell while I was being startled. After a moment of confusion and bad noise I realized that there had been a crying girl curled up in a ball not more than 4 feet away from me.

This was the first time that I had met Melanie.

She had been going through an incredibly rough time in her life and the LSD had induced a state of deep intense emotional and psychological introspection, one of those states where you feel like crying for all of humanity, where you become deeply compassionate, empathetic, and deep feeling, and feel an emptiness and feeling of isolation as you weep for all tragedies that have befallen every sentient being to ever exist.

In these states you also tend to dive into your own psychology, often facing the fact that your a jerk many times a moment, while deeply feeling isolation, and often you just want to get away from everything and enter a catatonic processing state. This is how Melanie was feeling when I first met her. Melanie had also been dealing with some pretty terrible stuff which wasn't entirely in her control, and on top of that she had just left a tumultuous friendship in which she had been hurt and done wrong many times.
 
 I sat and listened to her for hours, doing all that I could to comfort her, and on several occasions we both ended up holding each other in our arms crying. It was a pretty intense and emotional night. As the Sun was starting to rise I began playing guitar, and with Melanie cuddled up closely by my side I played and sang the song below for her.

She said she was already feeling much better just through our conversations, and through my efforts to comfort her, but she said when I played and sang this song for her that it really had a deep and profound impact, she said she was overcome by intense warmth, comfort, and happiness, and that she could feel a genuine love and compassion which seemed to ease all of her suffering, lift all of her burdens, and reminded her that she wasn't alone, that there was someone who understands her and who will always be there for her.
 
...any way...

...I've been up all night having sex with two girls on entactogenic/empathogenic psychedelic aphrodisiac substances and I'm still pretty exhausted mentally as well as physically, but I promised Melanie I would post a story about our meeting.

Melanie, I know you had a rough morning, and I wanted to post this so that when you log into my account today you will have a pleasant reminder of how much I love you, as well as a reminder that everything is going to be just fine, just keep your head up, and good things will come to you.


I love you my darling Melanie.

Life Goes On
by Iya terra
Lift up your head weary one
I see that sorrow in your eyes
Life got you down again
But you've got to realize
It takes time to learn, it takes time to grow
So be patient and be kind, And
If you ask with ease and grace
All that you seek you will find
[/u]

Dust to dust and ash to ash
This too shall pass in the time, and you
Got to trust, yeah you got to trust
Good things coming in time,
and Life Goes On.


And you can count on me to be the one
That's never gonna leave you lonely
Count on me to be the one
That is gonna love you always,
When you're feeling sad and blue
I'll be there to see you through, so
Don't cry no more
I said don't cry, my darling Melanie


True it takes some time for one to refine
The steps upon the path you are leading
The harder the pursuit, it remains the truth
The harder it will be to achieve it

And though you feel like giving up
When the path gets rough
You must be strong, life must go
Don't cry, my darling, don't cry


Dust to dust and ash to ash
This too in time shall pass, and you
Got to trust, yeah you got to trust
Good things coming in time


and Life Goes On



And you can count on me to be the one
That's never gonna leave you lonely
Count on me to be the one
That is gonna love you always,
When you're feeling sad and blue
I'll be there to see you through, so
Don't cry no more
I said don't cry, my darling Melanie.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 13, 2018, 10:09:49 AM
Give Thanks
by Iya Terra
Well if your lost and alone don't worry cause your already home, And i know its a long long road but i'm ready to go
I found beauty and the balance in between all the highs and the lows, So as long as i can sing my song then i'm ready to go, i'm ready to go

For whatever gonna come my way,
yes i just give thanks, I give thanks
All the struggles and the troubles and the sorrows
yeah i just give thanks, give thanks
Don't worry about tomorrow, your living today, give thanks, you gotta give thanks, its all gonna be okay. we just give thanks, you know we give thanks.



I give thanks for this love that your giving me
My love is like an ocean and i got no worries
I'm sailing through the on under the forbidden sea
Well I've been chasing the sun but its gotten eventually
Wave gets rough and i'm not giving up
This place is not forsaken and your memories are sacred
When life gets tough never stop looking up
Give thanks for this life, my soul

For whatever gonna come my way, yeah i just give thanks, give thanks, All the struggles and the troubles and the sorrows. i just give thanks, give thanks
Don't worry about tomorrow if your living today, give thanks, you gotta give thanks
Yeah. its all gonna be okay. we just give thanks, you know we give thanks
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 13, 2018, 10:14:36 AM

because there is no force strong enough to destroy love
And the more that them push and them pull
The more that they unite us
Love and respect
Iya Terra
That's why it's strictly Love & Respect
Is all that I and I know
So no time for your bad bad vibes when I and I a slide through
Strictly love and respect is all that I and I know
So no time for bad vibes
Open up your mind
Open up your eyes
Open up your soul, you will find love
Just open up your soul


Cause we are sentient beings
Given strength to defend all defenseless beings
So Know yourself and know just what compassion means
Say trod lightly
No need for senseless killing, Oh Jah have mercy
Love & Respect & Mercy
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 13, 2018, 10:21:09 AM

Iya terra - stand strong
Wake up!
We are going to rise with the sun
We haf fi get the day agwon, so early in da morn'
And I take a little draw, give thanks and praises to the most high

I give thanks some dreams never die
We have to keep the dream alive so when the times get hard,
Only the strong shall survive
Alongside the humble and the righteous kind

We say...
We have to stand strong
Have a little faith in love
Cause our time has come!

Positive! People!
Living in a world of confusion
Said we got to reach up to the sky...

Positive! People!
Living in the world
So much confusion
One love, one love

Well I've heard so many things since my time has begun
A student of the Earth until my time is done
And we won't judge no one, we won't judge no one
Never, ever, ever will I judge no one

My brother!
I respect your beliefs
Can't let yourself become your own enemy
Well
It's up to you to make the change
Don't want to be living in vain no more.

We have to stand strong
Give it and you will get love

Because our time has come!

Positive! People!
Living in a world of confusion
Said we got to reach up to that sky..

Positive! People!
Living in the world of
So much confusion




One love, one love

Stand strong...
Stand strong, in love

Stand strong...
Stand strong, in love
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 13, 2018, 12:15:47 PM
As I Walked Out One Evening
W. H. Auden, 1907 - 1973
[/u]
 
As I walked out one evening,
   Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
   Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
   I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
   ‘Love has no ending.

‘I’ll love you, dear, I’ll love you
   Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
   And the salmon sing in the street,

‘I’ll love you till the ocean
   Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
   Like geese about the sky.

‘The years shall run like rabbits,
   For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
   And the first love of the world.'


But all the clocks in the city
   Began to whirr and chime:
‘O let not Time deceive you,
   You cannot conquer Time.

'In the burrows of the Nightmare
   Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
   And coughs when you would kiss.


‘In headaches and in worry
   Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
   To-morrow or to-day.

‘Into many a green valley
   Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
   And the diver’s brilliant bow.

‘O plunge your hands in water,
   Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
   And wonder what you’ve missed.

'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
   The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
   A lane to the land of the dead.


‘Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
   And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
   And Jill goes down on her back.

‘O look, look in the mirror,
   O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
   Although you cannot bless.

‘O stand, stand at the window
   As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
   With your crooked heart.'

It was late, late in the evening,
   The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
   And the deep river ran on.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 13, 2018, 12:21:33 PM
As I Walked Out One Evening by W. H. Auden; 11th stanza
'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
   The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
   A lane to the land of the dead.


This stanza of this poem has always stuck with me, I have always found it to be a deeply psychedelic verse, with deep personal implications and meaning. This excerpt means a lot to me, so I figured I would share, in the process I was reminded at how beautiful this poem is as a whole and felt I had to post the work in it's entirety, however, I also decided to post this excerpt in it's own section and address it's deep personal significance and meaning in relation to myself.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 30, 2018, 04:18:03 PM
Why would these people think I'm from the south? I visited Florida for like 5 months one time, but I'm not from the south and I've really never been there for extended period of time. More proof that these people don't know me or anything about me.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on December 30, 2018, 04:20:24 PM
Couldn't find any pictures of the girls that I could post, well, maybe one, you really can't see much in the picture, and I was only able to take like two pictures before being dragged in.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: judih on December 30, 2018, 10:31:28 PM
and may the year end well and begin with a new day's energy
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on January 08, 2019, 10:08:13 AM
Things have finally begun to settle down. All of December leading right up until the 4th of January has been incredibly hectic and it took up until today for everybody to readjust from "party mode" back into daily life.

My birthday is in early December, so that's around the time that the party began...

I have always been a user of the "I ching", and as a result the girls have been trying to show me astrology and tarot.

 As far as astrology goes, I think there is some accuracy there, the personality traits for "Sagittarius", which is my sign, fit me perfectly, however I feel the whole "daily horoscope" thing has been so overdone and diluted that it's nothing that reasonable and rational people need to have anything to do with.

The tarot deal I like a little more, I enjoy the aire of strangeness to the cards and the theatrics involved with giving a good reading.

My friend Eliza is an actual gypsy, she lives in an RV which she had converted into a rather beautiful small house on wheels, and she does palm reading, tarot readings, astrology, and so on to make a living, she also sells handmade jewelry and body-oils and incense. Eliza has been teaching me tarot. I'm still a skeptic, but I love the strange, the unusual, and the otherworldly, so I can't help but indulge.

**¡This last Friday I saw the girl from 26th that I'm attracted to!**It had been so long since I had seen her that it caught me off-guard. She sat right next to me, and I was so happy to see her that I wanted to give her huge hug. I haven't seen her again since that Friday. (I don't care if one of my friends told me to stay away from her, I'm still totally enamored with this girl, and I doubt that is going to change.)

...so, during a tarot reading Eliza mentioned a "sexy stranger" that I have a crush on, and the reading that came up in relation to her said something along the lines of:

"You like to step back and study your circumstances before you make a move, but sometimes if you wait too long to make a decision it ends up being made for you. You have met someone who is going to slip through your fingers if you don't start putting out the right signals. You know what those signals are so start flashing the green light for go!"

...the funny thing is, this is the same advice that everybody has given me since I first saw the beautiful brunette girl from 26th.

...The beautiful brunette from 26th street, my darling sweetie sugaree, sweeter than a sugar-cube of LSD.

...I just assumed that she always knew she had "the green light", and I was more or less waiting for my darling sugaree from 26th street, (sweeter than a sugar-cube of LSD) to shake things up on her own.

...yet even Eliza and her tarot cards tell me that if I just make the right moves things could work out in my favor with her, it all seems to come down to me having to make all the first moves and set everything in motion.

I guess it doesn't matter anyway, I doubt that I'm going to see her again. I went from seeing her at least 4 days of the week to almost never seeing her at all, which is sad, she always brightened up my morning with her warm and comforting aura and bright and charming beauty.


I was told that she knows exactly who I am, and that she knows that I am in love with her, so I can't understand why it's on me to make all the first moves...

Its strange that I could easily have my pick of women, and I even have a small group of amazingly beautiful girls who are incredibly open and sexually adventurous, yet I still want to have a monogamous relationship with the girl from 26th street. I want her and only her.

Though love is what I've got, and I have so much love to give.

The girl who works at my cannabis store had her hair done differently the last two times I saw her, it looked really good, and I wanted to tell her, but for obvious reasons didn't. Its always bothered me that I can't tell a girl "you look amazing today" or "you new haircut makes you look really pretty" without that girl taking it as an advance. I mean, I can understand, it's just always bothered me that for certain reasons I'm not able to tell the gorgeous girl that she looks really pretty with her new haircut, well, I could tell her but I can guarantee she would take it the wrong way.

Ok, I'm done rambling.

Well, not quite.

I almost had a chance with this girl Sara once. We were friends, we lived in the same neighborhood and would hang out most days when we where younger. We were always just friends, which was totally cool, I loved having her as a friend, but I was also really attracted to her. Then, there was a short time where we were coming close to getting together, one night we got drunk and danced and made out, another night we ended up heavily making out (and I guess everybody there said we were fucking though I can't remember it), but then, before anything could progress with her, another girl, who is now my most hated ex, swooped in and ruined everything. So, I ended up with this terrible girl, and Sara ended up getting with one of my friends. I still think my biggest regret was that I actually had a chance with Sara L. One of the hottest girls I know, and that I completely ruined it, and worst off that I ruined that chance and ended up with my ex. I think my ex could see that me and Sara were starting to get close so she did everything in her power to make me get with her before I could get with Sara. Actually, that was a really low point in my life, so it's probably better that we didn't hook up then, but damn, aside from my darling sugaree from 26th street, Sara L. is the only other girl that I have a really deep attraction towards. I guess I always knew that Sara was way to good for me, and I was still totally happy just being her friend. Damn, I wish I didn't mess that all up. If I ever get the change again, believe me, I won't waste it. (Plus now I have a good life, I have money, property, and so on... I wish I could even have her back as a friend... )

The song below reminds me of Melanie, and this is allergy thread:

She lit a burner on the stove and offered me a pipe
"I thought you'd never say hello, " she said "You look like the silent type."
Then she opened up a book of poems
And handed it to me
Written by an Italian poet
From the thirteenth century.
And every one of those words rang true
And glowed like burning coal,
Pouring off of every page
Like it was written in my soul
from me to you,
Tangled up in blue.
-J. Garcia
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on January 10, 2019, 10:02:53 AM
I saw the beautiful brunette girl from 26th today. She sat right next to me, and I could feel my heart race, quietly I was hoping and praying that today would be the day that she would finally make a move, yet, unfortunately neither of us did anything. I sat there dumbstruck unable to do or say anything in the presence of the beautiful angel sitting across from me, and she sat there, probably frustrated, and probably thinking to herself "why won't he do something?"

We really are a lot alike. It seems like we both feel the same and we both react the same and consequently it leads absolutely nowhere for either of us.

I'm incredibly happy that she has been around recently, there were a few weeks there where I almost didn't see her at all, and I thought I might have lost her forever. This last Friday, and today, (Thursday) have been the best days I have had this year simply because I got to be near her.

I want her to talk to me.

What can I do to be more inviting and approachable?


...I mean, is this girl really so much like me that we would both be content sitting next to each other doing nothing, each waiting for the other person to make a move?

...Dont be afraid to shake it up now my darling sugaree, you have the green light, I'm already yours, there's nothing that you need to add or do aside from simply letting me know that you would be willing to give me a chance.

I know we would have a FIRE connection, I can feel it just sitting across from her, and I know the chemistry between us would be intense. I can feel electricity between us even when we are quietly sitting three feet apart.

***¡¡¡Ill do all I can to be more approachable, but my beautiful brunette darling girl from 26th street, who is sweeter than a sugar-cube of LSD, it's time for you to make a move and let me know that you want it too. I'm already yours, all you have to do is come and claim me and ill be fully devoted to you and only you forever!!!***

There's no limit to what I would do for this girl, I've never encountered someone who would be so perfect for me in my entire life. I tried to ignore her, I tried hooking-up with other girls to get her off of my mind, I tried looking for another girl that reminded me of her, yet in the end I still want her and only her. I don't know what it is about her, but she is incredible, I've never wanted to be with someone so much in my entire life.

...I always have all of these ideas of things that I could do for the beautiful brunette girl from 26th, from gifts and unique and romantic ways of giving them down to the simpler things I would do daily just so she knows how beautiful, special, and amazing she is.

I swear, I would surpass every expectation and would always be finding ways to surprise her, I mean, I know on the surface that I don't look like much, but I'm full of all kinds of hidden talents, skills, and strengths that most would never even suspect that I have, and I know that I could keep her happy.

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on January 12, 2019, 12:01:02 PM
I saw my beautiful brunette darling girl sugaree from 26th street on Friday. She sat next to me. I thought she was going to talk to me a few times, but when I'm nervous I give off uninviting body language which makes initiating conversation difficult. At one point I dropped a piece of paper that landed near her feet, which I promptly picked up, though I was too scared to make eye contact with her while I was retrieving the paper.

I know I can be difficult to approach, specially when I am dumbstruck by the presence of such a beautiful girl, but I am working on it.

I've been told that the beautiful brunette girl from 26th street  knows who I am, and that she knows that I am in love with her. If this really is the situation then I can't understand why she doesn't simply claim her place beside me.

She has nothing to worry about, she already knows that I am completely enamored with her and that my attraction to her is more or less unconditional, and she already knows that I would be willing to do absolutely anything for her, so there's no risk on her part. She doesn't have to worry about impressing me, or being rejected by me, or anything like that, she is already absolutely perfect just the way she is, all she has to do is simply be herself, she doesn't have to add anything, or try to do anything special, I'm attracted to her exactly the way she is, the only thing she needs to do to obtain a lifetime of my love and devotion to her is to come and tell me that she wants to give me a chance.

Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on January 14, 2019, 09:59:05 AM
What a bizarre night...

My head is still in a psychedelic spin.

I was turned inside out.

...good God.

Everybody assumes that the life of a clandestine psychedelic chemist must be a lot of fun, which it is, but it's also incredibly isolating. I have to sacrifice normalcy in every manner just to produce the molecules that I love. I can't make new friends, and if I do I have to constantly keep them away from my actual life. I can't even blow up on my enemies, the other day one of them said something rude to me and I wanted to punch their lights out, but because I had 26g of MDMA in my backpack I had to ignore them and just keep moving.

There are only 3 people who know about my work, and believe me, I understand that at any point their knowledge could come back and bite me in the ass. Its exhausting.

Its a reclusive life, you can't tell anybody what you are doing, and for the sake of self-preservation you really don't want to.

At least I have the girls. The girls know I'm a chemist, and since they consume first hand the products of my labor they know what type of chemist I actually am, yet I don't have issue here, these girls don't know where the lab is, they don't know where my actual house is, and most of them would tell you that they don't even know my real name (which of coarse they do know my name, but when my little sugarees decide to shake things up they know to tell them that they don't know me) so there's no risk there, well, not much of one any way.

An older hippie friend of mine always tells me that I am the reincarnation of John Griggs, only with the combined chemical talent of albert hofmann and sasha shulgin, and I think that myself and Mr. Griggs really did have a ton in common, particularly when it came to our outlook on psychedelics.

...words can't change minds and lives they way that a psychedelic experience can. Psychedelics can remove our neurosis and show us how to live with one another and love one another, it's not a coincidence that the great San Francisco acid wave and the summer of love occurred simultaneously. Psychedelics allow us to see that we are all the same and that we need to love and support one another, there is no "us" and "them", we are all in this together.


...damn, what a night. Strange thoughts looming in from the time fog on this cold January morning. Still in a state of utter disbelief and not yet fully emerged from my cloud of intoxication I contemplate the vicissitudes of my past and present, such strange memories roll through my exhausted mind.

We have entered a time where materialism is running rampant and where greed is back in style. It doesn't surprise me that this newer generation thinks that the 1980s were such a "cool" decade, as they embody the same aspirations and attitudes of that time.

The psychedelic experience is the greatest tool we have for navigating our species way into a viable future.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on January 16, 2019, 09:06:05 AM
She Sat right next to me, the whole time I would catch myself wanting to put an arm around her, or would almost burst into conversation, then I would remember that I don't really know this girl and stop myself.

The beautiful brunette girl from 26th street, my darling sugaree, sweeter than a sugarcube of LSD, what's stopping you from being with me?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Eq7QHvToQts

Well, if Eliza is right, and this girl knows exactly who I am, and she knows I'm in love with her, then I can't understand what's stopping her. I mean, if she knows I love her and wasn't interested she could always choose to sit far away from me, or catch a different bus all together, if she wasn't interested why would she sit right next to me every time?

Anytime you decide to shake things up my darling sugaree you will know where to find me, and if you ever want pure love and total devotion all you have to do is say so.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on January 17, 2019, 09:27:27 AM
Eliza tells me a lot about this girl.

I saw her today. She sat next to me again. Eliza says I should be creeped out, she thinks it's strange that this girl knows who I am yet pretends she doesn't and still sits next to me every time I see her. Eliza says if I knew her I would want nothing to do with her.

I still can't say, I mean, I like her, and I know it's beyond just wanting to fuck her, I actually her, yet all of my friends say she is poison and to avoid her.

...I wish she would speak up on the matter. I mean, how hard is it to say hello?
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on January 17, 2019, 01:03:54 PM
There was a typo, it was supposed to say "I Actually like her".

This is such a strange situation, even with Eliza and the things she says set aside, it's still a strange situation.

I really really like this girl, I think she is perfect, and even if by some chance Eliza was actually telling the truth I honestly don't care, I still think it would be better for me to take my chances.

The thing is, I honestly believe that I could see her every day for the rest of my life and she would just quietly sit next to me, and it's kind of driving me crazy, she is really not making any of this easy for me.

I know in person I can be somewhat difficult to approach, but at the same time, I very publicly proclaim my love for this girl online nearly every day, and if Eliza is not lying to me this girl is very aware of it.

If Eliza is lying, and this girl doesn't know who I am and doesn't know that I am in love with her then there have been some incredibly improbable coincidences, but it's still possible.

I'm actually hoping that Eliza is right and this girl already knows I'm in love with her.

One of these days I'm not going to be able to ignore her and will have to just get things moving. I just wish to God that she would just say hello.

...ill probably end up saying something stupid the first time I talk to her. See, she is lucky, I already love her for exactly who she is, all she has to do is be herself and I would always be more than happy to love her, while in my situation, it's all an unknown, ...it's strange, I feel incredibly comfortable around her, yet she still makes me really self-conscious, I feel like I'm not going to be what she wants, and of coarse I'm going to be myself for better or worse, I guess I'm just worried that she won't like who I am. ( I'm actually an incredibly caring, compassionate, good hearted and loving person, but I still worry that maybe she just won't like me)

 and in situations like this I am almost guaranteed to end up with a broken heart, but I still feel she is worth it. This girl really is special, and I would do absolutely anything for her.

If you're ever in need
There's no limit to what I'll do
Work eight days a week, baby
And give it all to you
That's what love will do for you
That's what love will make you do
No matter how hard I fight
Baby, I'm still in love you
When they speak of beauty
You can stand the test
When they talk about making love
Baby, you've got to be the best
That's what love will do for you
That's what love will make you do
-jerry Garcia

...that song is a little exaggerated for the situation but the sentiment is the same, which is "I really like this girl and I would do anything for her."

I want this girl for exactly who she is, there's nothing she needs to add, or do, she just needs to be herself and I would give her a lifetime of love and devotion. I would give her anything that her heart desires and would be dedicated to her and only her.

I'm going to take what Eliza says with a grain of salt for now,
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on January 18, 2019, 09:56:46 AM
I really thought today was going to be the day she finally made an effort to talk to me.

I had been up all night taking MDMA with friends and was still dressed in "party cloths", so I had on a pair of really nice denim jeans, a brand new shirt, and some new kicks, which even though they are skate shoes they are the 2001 osiris D3's so they almost look like sports shoes, or moon boots, so it felt kind of strange to sport them, but they were so damned comfortable after a while I forgot about how silly they look, seriously, its like having pillows strapped to your feet... Anyway, I was brain dead from coming off of the MDMA and dressed like a psychedelic rich-boy clown, so needless to say I was quite a bit more shy than usual.

I must look pretty foolish sitting right next to this amazing girl trying as hard as I can to ignore her...

I think she needs to just walk up and slap me in the face. ...though with how shy I am she could probably walk up and sit in my lap and I would still be pretending like I didn't notice her.

Seriously though, she needs to walk up and tear off my headphones and say "stop being so shy and start making me happy"

Seriously though, eventually one if us is going to crack and things will get moving from there, either I will get a chance to love her or I will be rejected, regardless, it will be the end of this awkward "let's sit next to each other and wait for the other person to initiate interaction" phase.

Either she likes me, which I hope is the case, or she is just fucking with me, which is what Eliza thinks is going on.

...I wanted to say to Eliza "if she was reading my online declarations of love for her, why would she not just create an account here and say hello?

Its a crazy situation...

I HOPE she knows I love her, and I know she knows where to find me everyday of the week besides Sunday, I hope she can get over whatever is stopping her from either giving me a chance or rejecting me and just get it over with.

...I know in this situation I'm pretty much guaranteed to end up with a broken heart.

Still, all she has to do is say she wants so and I would give her a lifetime of love and devotion , she just has to make that simple first step and I will be hers and only hers.

What else could I say? If she was reading this what could I say? "Look, I'm shy, I can be hard to approach, and I'm sure this introduction situation is going to be awkward for both of us, but I think I'm in love with you, and I would do anything and everything I could for you, all you have to do is show me that you want it, just get things moving and I will always stay by your side, you have nothing to worry about, I love you for exactly who you are, you are perfect just by being yourself, and I know that there is so much I can do to make you happy, you just have to tell me that you will give me a chance.

...I can't understand why she wouldn't at least give me a chance. I'm not that bad looking, I actually have a body like Bruce Lee, but since I always wear large and baggy clothing there's no way anyone would really no that, any way, I know I'm not the best looking guy, but it's not like I'm horrible looking or anything, and I have a good heart...

Its Friday, and the beautiful brunette girl from 26th street is only around on Wednesday, Thursday, and Fridays, so all I can do is hope and pray that next week will contain my lucky day.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on January 19, 2019, 11:03:34 AM
Spent the morning freeze precipitating 1-allyl-2,5-dimethoxy-3,4-methylenedioxybenzene from the commercially available essential oil of parsley...

I have been really into the magic of essential oils and the phenylpropenes contained within them.

piperine ((2E,4E)-5-(2H-1,3-Benzodioxol-5-yl)-1-(piperidin-1-yl)penta-2,4-dien-1-one ) for example, is found in black pepper, (the type you shake onto food as a spice) and can be converted into Piperonal. Piperine can be converted to piperonal by ozonolysis and oxidative cleavage with potassium permanganate and tetrahydrofuran, the piperonal can then be converted into 3,4-methylenedioxyphenyl-2-nitropropene (MDP2NP) and 3,4-methylenedioxyphenyl-2-propanone (MDP2P) which can then be converted into 3,4-methylenedioxy-n-methyl-amphetamine, MDMA. So, with the right set of chemistry knowledge and skills one can start with common black pepper ( Piper nigrum) and end up with MDMA.

Speaking of MDMA from common food sources, this one usually surprises people, vanilla extract. One can extract vanillin from common vanilla extract. The vanillin can then be converted to piperonal (3,4-methylenedioxybenzaldehyde) by demethylation with pyridine and aluminium chloride followed by methylenation with DCM (dichloromethane), and, as before the piperonal can be converted into 3,4-methylenedioxyphenyl-2-nitropropene (MDP2NP) and 3,4-methylenedioxyphenyl-2-propanone (MDP2P), which can then be converted into MDMA.

Its funny that if one wanted to do so they could obtain their starting materials from the local grocery store, and I'm sure you could buy as much vanilla extract, black pepper and essential oil of parsley as you want without anyone ever thinking "this person is manufacturing psychedelic empathogen/entactogens"

...however, it has been brought to my attention that a chlorinated analogue of piperonal (6-chloropiperonal) was created during the oxidation process. The 6-chloropiperonal present after the oxidation process eventually leads to 2-chloro-4,5-methylenedioxymethamphetamine (6-Cl-MDMA) being present in the end product. Very little data exists regarding 6-chloro-MDMA's pharmacological properties, (though I don't see why the compound would not display some similar pharmacological properties to MDMA) so its always been a concern that this compound is most likely the result of synthesis....

Being a clandestine chemist is boring, and as I said before, its very isolating. Even if I wanted to discuss chemistry with people in my daily life none of them understand it. ...just like everything else. Nobody has ever heard of Terence McKenna, Nick sand, tim scully Alexander shulgin, David E. Nichols, and so on, none of them have ever read Plato, Heraclitus, or even William Blake, it seems they don't even know basic world history. Uggghh, the other day I was speaking about how Hannibal had led his Carthaginian army over the Alps in 218 BC, and how he had even managed to take war elephants with him, bringing the war directly into Italy through a route which the Romans would have deemed impossible, and the person I was speaking with (from ARTS) interrupted me and started talking about cannibals and Hollywood films, then it hit me, this person had no idea who Hannibal even was, this person thought I was talking about "silence of the lambs"... I began to feel sick to my stomach and ended the conversation.

Its funny though, you can easily mess with them, the "dihydrogen monoxide" bit is one of my favorites, and most people never figure it out. It shows that people don't pay close attention (and that people who don't understand chemistry really fear it)

Its so frustrating dealing with the majority of people I encounter.

Okay, I've got to get back to the lab.

Thank God there are intelligent, educated, free thinking, and good hearted people out there, they are few and far between, and are never easy to find, but thank God they exist,
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Stonehenge on January 19, 2019, 08:18:51 PM
Very interesting but I doubt any of us have the knowledge to carry it out. When you say for example ozonolysis let alone demethylation we have no clue. We need cook book simple steps to do things but its interesting to hear what can be done
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Stonehenge on January 20, 2019, 07:30:57 PM
But feel free to post your thoughts, I'm sure a few have the knowledge to comment on them
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on January 22, 2019, 10:55:29 AM
...Actually, it's probably a good thing that in order to be able to even think about attempting these procedures you have to have a decent background education in organic chemistry.

I keep forgetting that people read this thread. Seriously, don't attempt any of the chemistry mentioned.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on January 22, 2019, 10:56:05 AM
So I encountered someone who knew a lot about the grateful dead and a little bit about psychedelic culture and compounds, the kid wanted to take pictures of the patches on my vest and I reluctantly let him. I always think it's creepy when people do that, you always think they are stalkers, or the police, or people who want to impersonate you online or in real life, I mean, do you ever go around taking pictures of people's cloths? (Actually, after the grateful dead this last June, literally the day after the show, I went to see some Tibetan Buddhist monks preform traditional chants and prayers at a church near my home, and at that event some girl asked to photograph my dead shirt, and I happily let her, but that was a far different situation. )

In all honesty this was not the type of person I had any interest in associating with, don't get me wrong, I'm happy to entertain brief conversations about drugs or music or chemistry or spirituality or whatever, but I never want to commit more than 5 or 10 minutes to these things.


It goes to show that a person can know about some of the things that you have interest in, and how you can still not want to associate with that person for anything more than a quick conversation.


For some reason this guys interest in these things seemed hollow and phony. I'm not saying that he wasn't truly interested in these things, there's no way I could ever really know that, I'm just saying it felt really rehearsed and devoid of passion. ...when it comes to myself, when I'm talking about the things I love, my enthusiasm borders on mania, it's incredibly obvious that these subjects truly mean a good deal to me. When it came to this guy I didn't notice any of this. ...that could just be the guys personality though, who knows. 


All and all, even though he was telling me that he was interested in some of the things that I am interested in, I didn't like him, this was not the type of person who I would associate with, I could not seem to connect with this person in any way, no matter how hard I tried.


I think it comes down to vibes and personality when I'm selecting friends, and interest in music, art, fashion, politics, drugs, and so on really don't make much of a difference. Some people have personalities which radiate light and life, these people are unique, passionate, and their sheer personalities seem to transcend the interests which most people need to define themselves.


...it wouldn't matter what music these people listened to, or what authors or artists they appreciated, their presence, intelligence, hora, vibes, enthusiasm, and individuality transcend all of these things.


I think this is why I have such a diverse group of friends, mostly because we are able to recognize that most people will cling to and define themselves by cookie-cutter cultural designs, the need set norms and  ideals to devote themselves to, which honestly to me seems like an excuse for free thought or a fear to be an individual. Isnt it so easy to say I am a "hippie" or "punk rocker" or "raver" or "insert cookie cutter cultural construct here", and to be able to say "hippies", or "rockers" or whatever appreciate this or that and believe in this or that, therefore I like this or that, and I believe in this or that. It all seems very antithetical to individuality and free thought.


Terence McKenna would articulate similar concepts:


We have to create culture, don't watch TV, don't read magazines, don't even listen to NPR. Create your own roadshow. The nexus of space and time where you are now is the most immediate sector of your universe, and if you're worrying about Michael Jackson or Bill Clinton or somebody else, then you are disempowered, you're giving it all away to icons, icons which are maintained by an electronic media so that you want to dress like X or have lips like Y. This is shit-brained, this kind of thinking. That is all cultural diversion, and what is real is you and your friends and your associations, your highs, your orgasms, your hopes, your plans, your fears. And we are told 'no', we're unimportant, we're peripheral. 'Get a degree, get a job, get a this, get a that.' And then you're a player, you don't want to even play in that game. You want to reclaim your mind and get it out of the hands of the cultural engineers who want to turn you into a half-baked moron consuming all this trash that's being manufactured out of the bones of a dying world.”

― Terence McKenna


My group of friends, my tribe, truly are unique and individuals, so much to the point where we as a group don't even confirm to any defined culture or structured system of beliefs or values. ...well, we are all good-hearted people, and love and compassion are traits which we all share and embrace, and granted there are similarities between us, but that's not what brought is together and that is not what bonds us now.


Extraordinary people are not common, but they are easy to recognize when you find them. ...most of us have are eccentricities, but that's not what I'm mms talking about here, it's a type of intelligence, heart and soul, as well axe broad and abstract understanding. 


...when I make an obscure reference or complex humorous remark or just express my thoughts in general  need need to elaborate or explain, These people have the intellect where they can easily understand unique, abstract, and obscure viewpoints, even more brilliant is they can fully and easily understand they view points and thoughts of the common person.


...so, it's not like a person can just walk up and say "I know about albert hofmann, or Alexander shulgin, or the grateful dead and expect me to automatically like them or be their friend, I mean, all those these are interests of mine, but I don't define myself by any of them, they are just things I enjoy, and I think because of this I relate to these things in a far different way than the people I am talking to who know about some of this stuff.


...actually, I seem to get along much better with people who are interested in things that are different from my own interests, I like to obtain a new perspective and learn about something new.



Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on January 22, 2019, 11:25:02 AM
ozonolysis is where ozone is used to cleave the unsaturated bonds of alkenes, alkynes, or azo compounds. oxidative cleavage is cleaving carbon-carbon bonds to generate carbon-oxygen bonds, in this case using potassium permanganate and tetrahydrofuran (tetrahydrofuran acts as a solvent and KMnO4 is serving as the oxidizing agent) to cleave piperine into piperonal.

when looking at the 2-dimensional structure of piperine vs. Piperonal it is quite a bit more obvious what is occurring with this reaction.

Was there something specific you were interested in?
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on January 22, 2019, 01:23:13 PM
I saw her today. I wasn't expecting to see her until Way later in the week, so when I saw her walking to sit next to me my heart jumped into my throat. The weather this morning was freezing, there were high winds and the snow from the night before was caught blowing in the wind, so I was wearing my snow clothes. I looked terrible, wearing some green carhartt double leg work pants, a snow hat, some redwing work boots, and a long sleeve green blue and purple grateful dead tie dye, the one with the skeleton in the boat and lighthouse on it. I felt pretty self conscious....

She was sitting right next to me while I was working on a 2,5-dimethoxy-4-methyl-amphetamine synthesis work up in my notebook, and I was doing my best to pretend like I hadn't noticed her...

When I looked up and saw her walking to sit down I must have had my eyes directly on her, it took me a me a second to realize that it was her, I almost never see her on Mondays, she had a black and white patterned scarf that when combined with color on her coat and the fur lining around her hood really brings out the beautiful brunette color of her hair and makes her eyes gleam brightly. She looked amazing. I don't know how she can look so good just after 5 am on her way into work, but every time I see her she looks phenomenal.

...she has to be the most gorgeous girl that I have ever seen. She carries herself with confidence and respect and has has a manner about her which drives me wild.

...though it's driving me insane that she won't give me a chance.

I'm pretty sure Eliza is right, and that she knows exactly who I am. Eliza says she is mean and has nothing bad bad intentions towards me, which might be true as well, but if that really is the case I guarantee she has no real reason to dislike me or have bad intentions towards me, and that if she would just spend some time with me I know I could change her mind.

...or, let's say she is a stranger, and she doesn't know I love her, and doesn't have bad or good intentions towards me, and it's just pure coincidence that her actions correlate to things I'm saying about her, wouldn't it then be easier for her to just say hello? I mean, she sits 3 feet away from me about half of the days of the week, and there's this strange awkward electricity that I can feel between us from the moment she gets on the bus (not to mention I can tell that we would have a fire connection if she have me a chance) it's obvious that there is something going on...

She looked so beautiful today, I think that black and white patterned scarf really makes her look pretty.

One day she will be able to get over all the nonsense, and be able to let go of everything she thinks she knows about me and this situation and just let me give her a chance. I have a good heart, and there's so much that I can offer, I can give her anything she wants, not to mention that I could give her the best loving that she has ever had...

One day she will tap me on the shoulder and get things moving.

...even if she dislikes me, then why drag this out, if that was the case you figure it would be way easier for her to brake my heart.
Title: Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
Post by: Intrepid_traveler on January 22, 2019, 01:29:29 PM
The beautiful brunette girl from 26th street, sweeter than a sugar-cube of LSD, why must you remain content quietly sitting next to me? why are you content leaving this situation a mystery for me?

I have always been humble in this situation, I admit that she has the upper hand in every way, and that doesn't bother me, I want her for exactly who she.

I don't understand the situation with her at all, and I've always admitted that.