Author Topic: Poetry/prose/creative writing.  (Read 1641 times)

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Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #90 on: December 06, 2018, 08:54:22 PM »
Eliza tells me not to ever give the slightest amount of trust to the girl from 26th street, she says I should stay away from her. She said just because she May have a good heart at her core doesn't mean that she has a good head on her shoulders. Eliza tells me that she has a good deal of cruelty in her, and that she is very aware of me, and that her intentions are bad. Eliza says she's confused and and has no sympathy at all for me, and since her views are distorted she can justify doing horrible things and still feel that she was in the right. Eliza says that the girl from 26th knows exactly who I am, and that if I knew her means of knowing who I am and if I knew some of the things she has done that I would know to stay away from her.

Eliza is never wrong about these things, and this morning I had Eliza ride the bus with me, she sat near the back of the bus with her hood pretty much over her face looking like she was almost sleeping. She wanted to see this girl and get a 'read" on her, and it turns out that Eliza knows who she is, and as you saw above she had nothing good to say about her. Eliza didn't say that she directly knew her, but she knows who she is.

Bummer, in another life we could have made a great couple. I can't imagine who or what would poison this girl on me, and Eliza didn't say very much, she mostly just told me to stay away from her and that under no circumstances should I trust her, she says I shouldn't even sit near her. She says not to post anything online about her either and she gave me the impression that this girl was well aware of all I had written, but again, Eliza didn't want to say much.

Eliza knows everybody and has been everywhere, and I know she knows more than she was telling me at that moment, its usually for my own good when she holds things back from me, she knows that timing can mean everything, and that if I play my cards right I can come out on top of this thing.

Eliza very rarely says negative things about anybody, so when she does I tend to listen.

I don't always just listen to Eliza, but I'm definitely going to keep all of that in mind.

I can't think of any reason why Eliza would warn me about this girl unless it was justified...

Ill give the girl from 26th the benefit of the doubt for now, but eliza's whole reaction was really not what I expected.


Such a strange day...

Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #91 on: December 06, 2018, 09:21:30 PM »
My enemies are weak right now, and have been resorting to desperate tactics, and defeat for them is certian, for I have truth on my side and the grace of God at my back, and all they have is slander, and a fickle mistress named luck.

Well, they also have friends who will willingly and gladly believe made up little stories and lies just because it suits their interests. I think these people are terrified that if the truth ever did come out that everybody would like me and everybody would hate them you would not believe the time and effort these people spend trying to make me look bad, I mean, seriously, it must take up a huge portion of their life. Its dedication on an outrageous level, and must dominate these people's minds. All they can think about is me, its pretty sick.

I've never seen anybody put so much effort into trying to make others think that someone was a homosexual, which speaks to the intelligence and maturity of these people, and mean its outrageous how much effort is extended on that one area, even if I were gay how is that an insult? Its 2018 not 1956, convincing people that I'm gay isn't going to get me hung by the neck in town square, and honestly it Bentsen hurt my business with the ladies, but whatever, it's their waste if a life.

... they know that if others liked me that these same others would realize how fake they were and not like them. So, just like you would expect people who live in a fantasy dream land rather than reality would do, they created lies, rumours, and hoaxes to try to make me look bad and accept them as fact, coming out the truth and the real world for their little fantasies.

These people will write some really sick things when impersonating me, and it made me think, these people have to be sick in the head just to think of this stuff, and that in reality those are their true thoughts...I could never think of those things, you would have to be sick to even generate such ideas, so while everybody is sitting around freaked out at me because of the lies they just told them, its really them that everybody should have those feelings for, they are sitting right next to horrible, disgusting, sick and perverted people while not even knowing it. Do you think if these people knew that it was really their friends words and actions and that it was all the creation of their friends minds that they would still be friends with them? The answer should be no, but sadly these people live in a fantasy, they would rather believe horrible lies about me when they know the truth is that kts their own friends who are sick and fucked up.

Whew, that felt good to vent. I went on that same rant on a site that some of these people post on and was instantly banned, which means I hit a sore nerve, I was getting to the truth of the matter, and I was doing so publicly.

.... They can't stand the thought of others being my friend because they feel so inferior, and they know others would realize how fake and full of shit that they had always been.

These people are motivated for all the reasons below as far as I can tell, but rather than talking about my faults they are simply making faults up, they even go as far as impersonating me, regardless, the excerpt below very clearly outlines their motivation,

... they will tell people "he doesn't know what he is talking about" if they don't buy that they say "he is crazy" if they don't buy that they say "he is homosexual" and if the people still don't think poorly of me they will impersonate me,any way, below describes part of their motivations:
Quote
Another situation in which we speak about others’ faults is when we’re angry with them. Here we may talk about their faults for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it’s to win other people over to our side. "If I tell these other people about the argument Bob and I had and convince them that he is wrong and I’m right before Bob can tell them about the argument, then they’ll side with me." Underlying that is the thought, "If others think I’m right, then I must be." It’s a weak attempt to convince ourselves we’re okay when we haven’t spent the time honestly evaluating our own motivations and actions.

At other times, we may talk about others’ faults because we’re jealous of them. We want to be respected and appreciated as much as they are. In the back of our minds, there’s the thought, "If others see the bad qualities of the people I think are better than me, then instead of honoring and helping them, they’ll praise and assist me." Or we think, "If the boss thinks that person is unqualified, she’ll promote me instead." Does this strategy win others’ respect and appreciation? Hardly.

Some people "psychoanalyze" others, using their half-baked knowledge of pop psychology to put someone down. Comments such as "he’s borderline" or "she’s paranoid" make it sound as if we have authoritative insight into someone’s internal workings, when in reality we disdain their faults because our ego was affronted. Casually psychoanalyzing others can be especially harmful, for it may unfairly cause a third party to be biased or suspicious.
http://thubtenchodron.org/2011/06/harmonious-speech/


 they live in a fantasy dream land that has no connection to the real world, they believe their own lies as fact and ignore reality, they choose to accepted fairy tales and made up little rumours and stories as their "real" world. Some day they are going to have to come out of their fantasy little dream world and face reality and accept the the truth.


Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #92 on: December 06, 2018, 09:23:50 PM »
Ok, car ride is over and my brain hurts from all that typing...

Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #93 on: December 07, 2018, 09:58:03 AM »
Another beautiful day that I am grateful to be alive and well.

...life would be perfect if I could only eliminate the influence of my enemies.

Day by day I get closer to bringing the truth to light.

Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #94 on: December 08, 2018, 10:13:06 AM »
I spent a little time on the mountain,
I spent a little time on the hill,
I heard some say "Better run away",
Others say "Better stand still".

Now I don't know, but I been told
It's hard to run with the weight of gold,
Other hand I have heard it said,
It's just as hard with the weight of lead.
[/u]
-grateful dead ; new speedway boogie

Offline judih

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Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #95 on: December 08, 2018, 10:53:45 PM »
good to listen to the Dead. clears the head

Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #96 on: December 11, 2018, 09:19:56 AM »
The dead's lyrics are full of incredibly valuable wisdom that one almost has to live their way into understanding...

I think that's part of the beauty of Robert Hunter and John Perry Barlow's collaboration efforts in producing the words to these songs, this is real poetry presented in jam band format.

The dead's music is there to ease our pain, to give us guidance and advice, and to give us wisdom, love, and community.

Regardless, the dead are so much more than a rock and roll band.

Its like the African parable of the blind men and the elephant, everybody has a different idea of exactly what that thing was. ...and jerry meant it to be that way, jerry Said that "when you leave something undefined it becomes everything", so it makes sense that nobody ever attempted to place a set definition of what the dead was, and when I say the dead I'm not just talking about the band, I'm talking about the ever moving, ever changing and constantly evolving community and culture as well as the band.

A dead show is going to be reassuringly familiar and refreshingly new every time it's experienced. All of the things that you recognize as being part of the dead show experience are still in place, yet it's also very clear that things had managed to change, grow, and evolve into something novel, new and beautiful that has seemed to incorporate itself right into the woodwork of the familiar.

The psychedelic experience itself tends to be that way as well, it's "reassuringly familiar, and refreshingly new" every time it's experienced. The familiar signposts of a psychedelic experience are still there, yet somehow you always encounter something completely new and unexpected each time. Every time you think you have seen it all, and that there will be no more surprises, the thing manages to conjure up something you never could have predicted or imagined.


Re: Poetry/prose/creative writing.
« Reply #97 on: December 11, 2018, 09:44:01 AM »
I think I have discerned the reason why psychedelic sexuality is so misunderstood.

Most can't differentiate the difference between true eros and the devalued perversion of eros which has been disseminated to the masses and programmed into the individual through various means.

So while I am talking about eros, oneness, love, ecstasy, and the most sacred and spiritual aspects of sexuality, all most can think about is filth for filth's sake. ...then when you start talking about sex with multiple partners or orgiastic sexuality people really start becoming uncomfortable.

It seems most can't differentiate "eros" from "being horny", and furthermore only understand sexuality in a very shallow, basic, and utilitarian form.

Most people's sex is very ego centered, its a rush to an orgasm and seems to be fully focused on self, even the pleasure given to their partners is for some self gratifying purpose.

...if you need a cigarette after sex your probably not doing it right.


Any way, I'm still exploring psychedelic sexuality with my friends Melanie, ayela, Delilah, and Eliza. I think since we have been incorporating spiritual aspects into our group sexuality it has managed to reach deeper levels. I'm reminded of tantric yoga and karmamudra practices, only with several girls instead of one. Sometimes we can reach pretty intense spiritual/sexual states without even using the MDMA, 2c-B, 5-meo-dipt, or LSD as catalysts.

I still think LSD is one of the best compounds for orgiastic sexuality.

Any way, below is an excerpt where McKenna briefly outlines eros:
Quote
Eros and the Eschaton, these are the two areas that I think compromise the old paradigm and give permission to hope and strangely neither of these words is that well known, which gives you a measure of how completely the dominator position has squelched,subverted, and down played any opposition to its world view.

Eros we know about in some kind of devalued schticky kind of glitzy waybecause we get it in the eroticization of media, and society, but really what eros means in the Greek sense is a kind of unity of nature a kind of all pervasive order that bridges one ontological level to another. -terence McKenna